Wednesday 26 December 2012

Mother.

So it's been a while since I was here.
Well, I have not really been in the mood to write for quite a while.

But I am back.

So I don't know if any of you noticed, but I don't really talk about my family here.
Reason being, my relationship with my family is complicated, to say the least.

(FYI: By family here, I mean my mom.)

Since the past 3 years, I and my mom have been drifting apart.
I am growing up and she is just beginning to realise it.
She's a little narrow minded and I am just the opposite.

Honestly, I don't really talk to my mom.
Sometimes I doubt if I talk to her at all.
But this post is not to tell you all about my problems with her.
This is to tell you all something else.

You know there's a small girl who lives next door. She must be 8 or so. Her mom works and is not always home when the girl needs her. So my mom usually calls her at our place and helps her with her homework and stuff. Everyday I reach home and open the door, I see that girl sitting with my mom with all her books open. She tells my mom a lot of things and even though they are not what any middle-aged women would call interesting, my mom listens to every bit of whatever that girl has to say and replies in a very good way.
Everyday, I see that small girl talking about her day to my mom.
I just see her and that look on my mom's face.
I smile and I go to my room and when I look in the mirror, I see tears in my eyes.
It's just because at times I just think,
If that 7 year old can share her day with a woman she barely knows, can't I share my feelings to the person I've known all my life?

I miss my mom.
Even though she's there, I no more feel like she is.
I want to tell her all this but I know I won't be able to do so.
So, I am just here telling you all how much I miss my mother.

And one more thing.
My mother's a homemaker and even though she never really admitted, but I've always known that she wanted to be on her own.
She never wanted this life.
So I've always seen this dream in her eyes of me being on my own when I grow up.
She wants me to live the dream she never could.
She wants me to earn my own money.
I've always had this dream too.

I may not studying right now and I know I'm not the best daughter in the world.
But I know that I will make this wish of her's come true.
Somehow, I am gonna become something and I promise that my first salary will be in a account named 'Meenakshi Taneja'.

I know I've let you down a lot of times. But one day, I will make you proud mom. :)
That, I promise. 

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