Introspection's hard.

Okay so here's the thing. I’ve been miserable for the past week. I am easily confused, perennially frustrated, and surprisingly lonely for a person who is constantly surrounded by a hell lot of people. Yes, all the old shit of being the sad and lonely girl is back. But whatever, leaving that out, oh wait, there is nothing at all I have nothing at all to talk about. No kidding. I mean it is kind of weird for a person like me who always have some or the other thing to talk about. I miss myself. I swear, I do but well, in the past I've been in this mood over and over again but every time I broke down, I bounced back. Somehow I picked myself up and got over it. But this time, it is just weird. It’s like I don't want to bounce back. I don't want to be normal again. I like being broken heart-ed because the truth is, I don't have the courage to pick up the broken pieces and be myself again. I don't want to fix my heart. That lost love; I don't want to bring it back because I am tired. I am tired of people taking me for granted and leaving me every time. I am tired of people coming to me, getting close and then walking away and then saying that the only reason they ever came close was because I needed them. Well so this is for the world. I am okay on my own and I don't need any one. I don't need anyone to fix my broken heart because I am happy with the broken pieces. Yes, I got hurt but I let go. I didn't move on but I just stopped waiting around. I am not moving to anyone new right now because no guy is worth it right now. I'll fall in love someday again. But this time, at the right time, with the right person.  #Because someone said that love does not happens in an age you can't even pick out which dress to wear. =D

Love and Regrets.

Hey there bloggers. :D

Today I entered the blogosphere to just tell you all how lonely I have been lately and the reason behind it.

So as I said in the last post, things have gotten really weird.
I mean , life is turning complicated.

That's why I blog.
This is the only place where I talk.
Moreover , It's the only place where I talk what I feel.

Things are turning worse by the minute and I really can't express what I feel to anyone now.
I mean, no one actually understands me anymore.
I had someone who did, but I pushed him away.

I may be strong and sometimes, it feels good to know that you are living on your own all fine.
But, at times you actually want someone to cry your heart out to.

I need someone.

Someone who actually understands me and will be there for me.
Someone who won't judge.
Someone who will always love me even at my worst.

I miss having that someone.

Dear love,
Pushing you away was the worst mistake I ever made. I have been regretting losing you ever since you said goodbye. You think I am just ignoring you but actually, I don't know how to face you. After all that I've done, I don't think I deserve even 1% of you. You deserve so much better. I am sorry . I wouldn't even try to take you back.  Just because I think I have hurt you enough for a lifetime. Believe me, you will get someone you deserve but that won't be me. I want to tell you how much I miss you. How much I loved you and how much I would love to have you back but I just don't think I am worth anyone.
Sincerely,
The one who's tangled up on you.

I am so guilty.
I lost the one person who meant so much to me.
I lost my prince charming.

You know what's the worst part?
This time I can't blame anyone. Not even destiny for what happened.
I know all of it was my fault.

This time , prince charming came on his white horse to sweep me off my feet.
He did make me feel like I was his snow white.
He did wake me up from the dead and brought me back to life.
But, I guess I just preferred to hunt in the lonely woods alone instead of having my happily ever after.

So congratulations to me.
I just threw away my happy ending because I wanted to start over but truly, life doesn't gives you a second chance. Neither will love.
Ever.
I hope you're happy past Lakshita. :'/

Talking To The Universe.

Hey there universe!
How ya doin?
I am not at all fine and I hope the same for you bro!

Things have been way too complicated lately.
Life has gotten a bit weird, and that's an understatement.
I swear.
I am not at all exaggerating bro.
And I, being the coward that I have always been, am gonna put the blame of all of it,on you.
Why aren't you being good
Pto me?
I mean, have you vowed to teach me all the painful so called "lessons of life" as soon as possible?
All of them all together ?

I mean come on bro.
Leave some for future me.
Past me has survived them {unfortunately} and present me just cannot handle them anymore.
I know it's a mean and selfish world.
Stop proving it to me again and again.
They aren't gonna change me anyway.
I will always be the same, stupid, spoilt,naughty girl.
I will always be me.
Situations are not going to change me, neither will these jack-asses you are  sending to me.
I will always be the same me.
I am always going to make the same mistakes.
I am always going to trust the wrong people.
I will always hurt myself over and over again due to stupid people.
I am always gonna cry for the wrong people.
You can't change the way I am, do stop believeing you will.
It just makes things harder for me.

Since I cannot warn you, take this as a pleasent request.

Please stop trying to make me realise things I wont believe.
Please stop trying to make me realise Reality.

I like myself in my fairy land a little more.

Please universe, please! Stop doing good things.
Your intention doesn't counts, the effect does.

It's a humble request out of the 6 billion  folks you deal with.
Listen please?
Pretty please?

This letter is just to tell you that things are not at all well and you just have to start changing things.

I live in a world of fantasy, so please keep your reality away for me.

I know it's totally stupid to write a letter to a hypothetical person like you.
But, it's the much needed thing to do right now.
But, I am getting ahead of myself.

So that's it for now.
Please help. Your services are really needed.
Thanks for listening.
Sincerely,
The one who is seriously disturbed by your actions.

I wrote this letter to the universe approximately 3 days ago when I was getting super bored and annoyed.
And since, I do not know where to send this letter, I am gonna post it to the one place I've always loved.
The one place where I talk.
The one place where I am who I am.
My blog.
<3 

Post script- Stop thinking I am some sort of lunatic. I am just highly disturbed from the past couple of days.
I haven't slept in 3 nights bro.
Beat that.
It's a huge thing for a sleep addict like me.
And People have fucking vowed to annoy me to the farest extent possible.
So well such a crazy blog is the much needed thing to do right now.
It's sort of in-your-face letter to myself just to tell me how much I want to talk to someone.
So, don't judge me.
*Hides behind the curtain*

I am tired as shit and sleepy as fuck.
So well It's only natural if I go and sleep but I wanted to talk before.

Okay, I am getting weird.
Before I get more weird and start sending photos , I must take your leave.
My pillow and my bed is waiting for me.

Tadaaaaa folks!
- Lakshu<3