Birthday, baby :*

"Dear Someone/Mr.Stubbron/Mr.RedTie/Chinchu/Laalu/Sadu/SadiShakal/Arpan/Mallu/www.Com/L.N/Ted,
I really don't know how to not wish you. But I still won't. 
Maybe because there's no need of me wishing you. Or maybe because you didn't wish me. Or maybe because you majorly suck.
I tried texting you. I tried calling you.
But, I figured, things are just not the same anymore.
And then I thought, maybe I should still wish you.  Because it's never too late to change.
But I guess, this is how we are and maybe this is how we will always be now.
This is not a birthday blog because I don't think I should write you one.
Maybe because I don't want you to think that I still care.
You know even though there have always been a lot of maybes in our story, there was always one thing I was certain of.
And that thing is that you'll always be somebody I'll care for.
Even if the love ends, even if I move on.
I possibly cannot stop caring for you.
Because all this while, you have been there.
Even if there were a little commas in between, I never really saw a full stop.

Happy birthday, haramkhor.
I'll always be sorry for all that I did to you and I'll be angry for all that you did to me.

And yet, I'll always be greatfull to all the things we did to each other.  (IYKWIM.)

Take care. :*
Yours,
Moti/Wish/Lakshita/Saand/Bhais/MotherDairy/Pagal.

Someones.

Over time, I've talked about love quite a lot. And maybe or maybe not you may have noticed that I've mostly referred the one guy in my life as "someone".

So getting to the point, we all have our someones.
You know. Someone you can call, text, beat, irritate and most important of all, someone you can love.
I had a someone too and it would be really wrong of me to call him my someone because of silly reasons I probably shouldn't get to.

But I guess, I'll still call my someone.
And I don't know why.

It's been a long while since my blogs have been about him and I know it's stupid but there was a time when all my blogs used to be about him.
He has a birthday soon.
And it's funny but I don't like the fact that I cannot even do his countdown even though I hate countdowns. 

That's how much a year can change.
Last year, I started his gift around this time and now, I can't even do his countdown.
Keeping all these things apart, I know you all have your someones too and I just want to tell you that if you're with your someone,  let him/her know how special he/she is because god knows where you both end up next year.

And it's not even cynical.
Why miss the chance when you have it?
Replace the M in the second word of the previous sentence with K and friggin' do it.

So bottomline is, winters are here and that obviously mean, Major missing and nostalgia.
The year is about to end and before it does take a break from the usual and appreciate the people you have in your life. Especially you're someones. Because a new beginning is on its way. ;)

Till then,
Wishh.

November. :D

Hey everyone!
I hope everybody can feel the nip in the air because hello NOVEMBER,

Now I know, November is not supposed to be special since Diwali was in October this year but you know what?
November is always going to me weird and special.
And that is because it's the month when all of us, {well, most of us} realize that hey!
AFTER 60 DAYS, THE YEAR IS GOING TO BE OVER.

Another year, is going to come to an end soon and you know, after two long years, I can finally say that I am glad that it's ending.
I mean, it was a good year and somebody wrote a song sometime saying that, "All good things come to an end."
I will do the post with the highlights of the year this year too but it's too soon for that now.

As for now, I feel like sharing with you how happy the world is. I mean, yes, there are plenty of sad fishes in the bowl but you have to remember that life is way more than a bowl, or a sea.
You'll meet plenty of people who are just happy.
Even if not, you will meet people who are placid and you know sometimes that is enough.
Who has the time to be sad?
A smile can do a lot.

Yes, I know sometimes, life isn't fair and it all just does not fit in the picture but you all should remember that no matter how hard it is right now, you will be okay.
The theory I had last year which said that somebody or the other is going to show up when you need them and he or she will make things okay, need not be necessarily true because as you grow up, you're going to realize it takes a lot more than just a somebody to make you happy.
I am not talking about money or anything.
If you really want to be happy, you should have yourself with you.
I know how less sense this sentence makes but it has a big meaning.
It takes yourself to be happy because nobody is going to be there forever.
Your best friend, you're boyfriend, you're counselor or anybody you love is not going to be there forever.
Things are always going to keep changing.
Because that's how life is.
Some people will stay there but you don't know who they are going to be.
And trust me, it's good you don't know.
Because if you already know what is going to happen next, how are you going to live?

Anyways cutting the long story short, Smile.
Somebody awesome once said, "Once you start smiling, things start falling in place. Kid you not."

Easy. Not.

The eyes with the smushed kohl,
The heart that swore not to fall.
The crimson of the sky that's slowly going away,
The broken promise he made saying, he'll stay.
Things change every now and then,
Sometimes you have no answers to what how and when.

Some memories stay longer than they should,
You put life into things. Otherwise, the bed is just wood.
It's summers, of course you cannot avoid tan,
Why say, "I promise to be more than I am."
Nobody can be more they are,
It's somewhat like the way you can never touch a star.

Giving up is easy.
Overcoming the feeling of not trying is not.
Loosing hope is easy.
Overcoming the feeling of being a coward is not.
Moving on is easy.
Letting go of what you love is not.

But hey kid,"that's just life. And it's going to happen all the time."

DuckU.

Dear best friend,

There was a time when you used to be one of the only four people I counted as my friends in school.

And 7 years later,

You are still one of the only four people I call friends.

It’s weird to be very honest, but it’s okay.

It’s okay because you make life dhinkachika.

Whether it’s about singing stupid songs in bad voices out loud, or it’s about clicking amazing displays for each other, or it’s about making sex jokes on debit what comes in credit what goes out, or it’s about trying not to laugh when people say wrong English or it’s about cooking amazing food for you {Raises collar} or it’s about you cooking me Maggie or it’s about making birthday gifts together or it’s about sitting on the terrace like hippies and having deep conversations, or it’s about getting angry on small things, or it’s about going out with good clothes and clicking ever so amazing selfies or it’s about updating pictures on instagram with hash-tags that say, “Dick” all the time.

You have made each one of these things stupid and special.

From the times when you were one of the only four I used to share my food with in school to the times when mom sends and extra parantha for you.

From the times when special assemblies in school meant you would bring Oyes! and Crax-Mattar, to the times when special assemblies means that we are not going to go to school.

From the times when you used to call me Taneja to the times when you’re basically called a dick.

From the times when getting pictures clicked with each other was an activity persuaded only on Children’s Day and school trips to the time when selfies are mandatory while using the lift.

From the time when birthdays meant yummy food to the times when birthday means “you’re ass is going to get fucked up”.

That’s how much life is changed.

We’ve seen each other being fat cows and hot bitches to fat cows yet again and it’s okay. I like you anyway.

I really can’t say much except the fact that I love you.

I don’t  know why but life without you is not the same at all. And thank god for the fight for making me realize that. You have to be forever, man. Because you’re a MAJOR , irreplaceable, part of my world and I don’t know how I am going to find another dick who knows what I’m going to say before I can even think it.

Just so you don’t get angry, the letter’s in the photo frame. I didn’t wanted the others to see it.

Toodles, bitch.

And and, Tadpole loves her duck. <3

Yes, you can Duck yourself now. :*

5 Lessons Of My Life For Yours. =D

And well it's been a long while since I've talked here.
Yes, I have been posting poetry and stuff but honestly, I myself don't understand any of my poems when I read them again so lets just go back to my way.

Now, today I'm going to talk about anything and everything.
First things first, I have been really okay lately.

Now, I'm in 11th so yes, senior swag B)
Keeping that apart, it has brought in a lot of responsibilities. Well, only studying, but that's so big that I can literally use it in plural and it won't sound wrong.
I mean, suddenly, there's so much to study and yes, I am going to blame it all to our oh-so-lovely education system.
But today, I am not going to talk about that.

Now, it's been three or four years since I've actually had a life. I mean earlier, I just used to live in this different world I can't even put in words. So whatever, these three four years, I've learnt a lot.
{Not that I'm all matured and grown up now. That's not going to happen for another two years, I think.}
But whatever I've learnt, I am going to tell you all today. [ I cannot possibly list all of them, but I will try to list down the first 10 which come to my mind. ]

1. Reading doesn't mean reading novels, at all! Believe it or not, reading is way more than books. And I own at least a 100 novels and I have read only 25 of them only because those are the only ones worth reading. And hey hey hey, don't you doubt my choice of books. All 100 of them are best sellers. But then, there's nothing in those 75 that would make them a best seller. Yes, most English teachers at school are going to tell you to read books to improve your language but no, don't listen to them. You don't like long and thick novels?  Give them away. Start reading short stories. Watch your favorite cartoons in English. [Tata sky laga daala toh life jhingalala.] If you're a teeanger, start watching some TV show. Catch it on Star World or just download the whole damn season. [Torrent zindabad, man.]
Start blogging for god sake. Follow some good blogs about stuff you like and read them if the title's catchy.
Do not cling to books if you're not the person for commitment. Read any article you like, read biographies of people you are inspired of. Whenever you use Google, use the news section to improve your GK. Why make it a responsibility?
Make it fun. That's what I have done, at least.

2. Do not get attached to people. That's not what you do! Not in your teenage years, at least. Honestly, not even half of the people you have right now are going to be there for you, three years down the line. Keep crazy friends and do stupid things together and get drunk and smoke up or whatever. But do not get attached. That's where the fun turns into love and congratulations, you're fucked. Do not even keep best friends. You both are going to tell each other everything and then somebody or anybody is going to influence the either one and you're friendship is going to fall apart, Hallelujah!
Be it boys, be it jealousy, be it bitching or anything. Hormones are going to act up all the time. Something or the other is going to ruin it. So it's better if you don't care.And if you still keep caring, one day you're going to end up like...

Personal experience! :P

3. In times of trouble, leave it to the universe. [Jo hoyega, dekha jayega]
When something bad happens and you don't know what to do, leave it to the universe. Things are going to work out on their own. Even if they don't, who cares? It'll pass out. Remember : The only thing bad time and good time have in common is that they both change. So don't loose your temper all twist your curls with your finger or bite your nails when you're worried. The universe will handle it for you.
That's what it does for me, anyway!

4.If it's really love, it's going to take more than six months to move on.

Yes, honey. First of all, every second cute guy you talk to at tuition and go out with is not the love of your life. So,enough with the "LOML" hash tags already! I mean, love at first sight is more believable for god sake.
And and and, do not date a guy if you've only known him a month. It takes more than that to judge people. {This is coming from personal experience so you might as well take that down.} The rule is : First you get to know each other. And then, you add the forever. 
And not to forget, what happens after the relationship.
Now according to the bro code, {HIMYM may be over but Stinson is never going to be!} you take half the time of the time period you dated to move on.
But as far as I understand the idea of love, you do not move on. You can date another guy or girl but you do not stop loving you ex. I mean, if you didn't mean that forever, why did you promise it in the first place?
I know, things don't work out sometimes and you HAVE to call if off. The relationship can end but love ka the end? Oh no honey, that's just Bollywood.
Again, do not make promises you can't keep.

So since I'm really lazy to upload those photos, here's a song so you get what I want to say,,

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=2phxcITRsaY


5. Not having the basic needs of the generation is an okay thing. Even if you don't have a phone, you can still survive in this world being a teen. I mean, there's more to the world than that. So what if you cannot call people whenever you like? Now you won't take meeting them for granted. So what if you cannot Whatsapp late at night? Facebook gives free messages too AND the sticker's are cooler. WAYY COOLER!
So what if you cannot snap-chat?
Webcam selfies are way more cuter and they let you edit your picture with friggin' snowfall!

{P.s. : I just noticed that the word, "Selfie" is still not recognized and is considered a wrong spelling. Come on Google, you got to remain updated! }

So whatever, having a phone might turn out to be the best thing ever sometimes. The best part's obviously going to be that your folks can't call you to find out where you are.


Well, that's it for today. I would talk but man, school has to screw over every time.
Anyways, as for now, exams are round the corner. So the most needed advice for everybody is to study and score well. That has a high of it's own and it's certainly better than coffee and cigarettes.

All the best peeps,
And,
Tadaaaaaa.
-WISH.

Stolen.

The messed up hair.
The silence that was there.
The window that's always closed.
The drawer that has a rose.

The locket with the broken chain.
The scars that no more give pain.
The nails that never seem to grow.
The tears her eyes won't show.

The lips that went untouched.
The perfect plans they fucked.
The arms that didn't take him in.
The moments she wondered, "where has he been?"

Everything that went broken.
The hearts that were stolen.
They've parted ways now.
She's a changed person without a doubt. 

But it's okay really. 
The season's going to change again.
And after the interval, her story begins.

Soon.

The sun's so bright,
But it doesn't feel so right.
The end's maybe here,
I'm screaming but there's no one to hear.

It's okay to feel alone.
It's okay to be lost.
Feels like loosing your favourite top,
Even before wearing it once.

How bad it could be in the end?
What's the use of calling these people, "friends"?
They don't even deserve to have you,
With or without them, the night's still going to turn blue.

You don't care. That's what you're going to show them anyway.
No, not again. You're not going to ask them to stay.
It's going to be okay soon,
The storm's going to be over. And then we'll have monsoon.

So much to say.

The water is running down the window,
Leaving back it's imprints, singing a song,
Like it has something to say.

The ceiling has something to say too.
The fan goes round and round, singing another song she doesn't understand. 

Shutting it all out. The clock sings another song.
Another poem. Another message. 

The world has so much to say.
Every person with a different story to tell.
Every story with a different feeling to show.
Every feeling with a different emotion to see.

I had a story too.
My silence sings a song too.
If only someone could hear it. 
There's a secret I keep, only if someone could know it.

Sundayy.

11th Standard.
A quarter of it is over and I don't know where the time went.
Back in 10th, when I used to crib about how CCE sucks and how much I want to get into 11th, everybody older used to say the same thing, "You don't want to get into 11th. It is going to turn you into a whole new person, you won't be able to even recognize."

I don't know how much I've changed in four months. I don't know who I'm going to meet when I look in the mirror the next time.
You know why?
Because I don't have the time for it. I don't have time to think what's wrong and what's right. I don't have the time to miss people who are gone. I don't have the time to pause everyday and ask myself that one question I  used to ask myself everyday, "Is this how I want my life to be?"

The whole week literally goes like the water runs down in a river.
Monday to Saturday, I feel like I'm the busiest person in the world who has so much to do that she doesn't even remember what she had for breakfast.
But then, Sundays come back to remind me of what I am.
Every Sunday takes forever to get over. No matter how much I try to make it fun, I cannot.
Sundays always suck.

Every Sunday, I get up, go to tuition for the Sunday economic test and come back home.
I make a plan for an outing with some girlfriends and it's usually over by six.
Then starts something I dread the entire week.
I have some time to myself.
No, I don't like that anymore. I don't know what to do so there's only one thing I do. THINK.
And that sucks. I don't want to think. Because then, there are so many things I hate, so many things I miss.
So many things I look past the whole week.
Things like, chocolate.
Things like, old friends.
Thing like, having a boyfriend.
Things like, hanging out with my best friends.

There are so many things I have been missing out on. So many things I love to do, but forget.
Like writing, poetry, reading, dancing.
So yeah, 11th sucks.
You have so much that you should do that you're going to end up forgetting what you want to do.
Don't do that to yourself. Obviously, studies are important. They are always going to be important. But, nothing in life is ever going to be as important as you are.
I'm not going to be like the rest of the crowd. I am not going to be like people who loose their identity along the way.

I am going to remember who I am. You should too.
Because all of us, are worth remembering. :)

WISH.
 

Awn.

The sleep that the eyes have.
The pain that's there throughout. 
The day's pretty okay.
But if you pause, it kills.

The dizzle that the air has.
The feeling that tells you its hard.
And it's okay, really.
But if you pause, it kills.

You pause and close your eyes.
And you think of the day you smiled the most.
The place where you once stood with him.
The moment those arms took you in.

Who knew, they would take their way back?
Who knew, it will never be the same.
With every day they spent together, a day less was added on.
Something would happen soon and she would hate going awn and awn.

Dusk to dawn.
She sucks when it comes to moving on.
But it's okay. She's alright.
And yet every night, she can't sleep tight.

Take her back. To the place she once called paradise.
Take her back. Teach her how to dream again.
Tell her to be who she was.
Tell her to kill who she is.

It sucks that he's not with her.
But she's going to be okay.
"Add a maybe to that. Cause I don't see that time, for a LONG, long time."

Beauty&TheBeast.

Something about the road we walked on.
Something about the speed breakers we jumped through.
Somehow, everything around happens to be nothing but a reminder of you.

Something about the scooty we rode everyday.
Something about people telling me to stay away.
Somehow, everything around happens to be nothing but a reminder of you.

Something  about chocolates and promises.
Something about coffee and cigarettes. 
Somehow, everything is nothing but a reminder of you.

Something that happens every time it rains.
Something that went on till the middle of April.
It all happens to remind of you.

What about the promises? 
What about the plans?
Aren't you going to put me to bed every night?
Aren't we going to go to every place we promised each other?

It's okay. That's what I keep telling my self anyway.
But you know me.
I know you can see.
It's not going to be okay. Not anytime soon atleast.
Till then, I'll watch the beauty and the beast.

It all belongs to that girl.

The secrets that nobody knew. 
The lips that nobody touched.
The scar that wasn't looked after.
They belong to the girl who was left on the altar.

The dairy that's half burnt.
The clothes that are too short. 
The watch that doesn't work.
They all belong to the girl who doesn't like going to school.

The hair that's shotter than usual.
The eyes that always have pain.
The voice that breaks every now and then.
They all belong to the girl who can't move on.

The body that wasn't touched. 
The heart that never fell in love.
The eyes that carry glitter.
They all belong to the girl who's innocent.

She's going to loose it too.
Sometime soon.
She's going to say, "I do"
To somebody she doesn't love.
She's going to end up in some corner of the world. 
Maybe she'll be happy. Maybe not. 
But who cares?
It's all okay, when it comes to life.

Okay.

The day kicked off.
The rain drops came down.
Sometimes, it's going to be okay,
With or without. 

It's like you're almost numb. 
Maybe you've stopped caring after all.
But in the end, it's going to be okay,
Even if you lost somebody who wasn't going to let you fall.

The promises went broken.
The messages unattended.
But still, you've got the be okay.
The future's always going to be unprecedented.

The coffee spilled a couple of days ago.
Nobody cares enough to clean the mess.
But somehow it's okay, now.
You get used to messes in days of stress. 

The song paused while playing.
The movie ended on a bad note.
The book you read was shitty. 
But it's still okay.
Because things don't matter.
Even people don't sometimes.

How long are you going to chase them?
How long are you going to wait?
Take the road not taken instead.
How long are you going to be in this state?

Shut the door for the world. 
And get your hair from the parlour curled.
Change is better.
The people you loved?
Now, they don't matter.

Where?

And as I kicked the empty swing, there's only one thing I can remember. 
Where are the days gone?
As I reached home and saw television for 4 hours, after an exhausting day, there's only one thing I can remember.
Why am I not sleeping already? 
As I slept on the couch and woke up on the couch,  there's only one thing I can remember. 
Will Dad never put me to bed again?
As I cried in my room silently,  there's only one thing I can remember. 
Is mom never going to notice some thing's wrong, again?
As I sit by the park and see three girls playing badminton, there's only one thing I can remember. 
Am I never going to play baddy with my girlfriends again?

Where did the time go?
When did I grow up?

When did the girl who wouldn't come back home until mom entered the park and shouted her name, become the girl who updates a blog at almost 4 in the morning? 

I don't know where the time went. I just know, that it's gone and it's never coming back.

So yeah,  here's to realisations and growing up. 

Growing up to be a girl you don't even like. 

Forever love.

And well, it's the most talked about feeling on earth.
It's something they all write about.  It's that one thing that has made us feel so happy and vulnerable at the same time.

Honestly, it's a pretty weird thing. Actually, it's a little too complicated to be something that can be felt.
Everybody has a different definition for it.
I have one too.
And it says that, you don't love people with conditions. You don't say I love you and then add a * mark saying conditions imply.
You don't feel it the first time you meet someone. You don't realize it when they are gone. You don't just stop loving somebody if they don't love you back.

It's not something you need to do. It's not something you need from the world. 
It's nothing but a feeling and it doesn't play any strings in your heart.
It's just a silent feeling of knowing that you're capable of loving somebody even after knowing they won't ever feel the same way.

That is what it is. Crazy, whimsical, irrevocable love.
Love that lasts forever. 
Because Durjoy Dutta says, if it's not forever, it's not love.

Happy and you know it? Sad? Why afraid to show it?

Somtimes, you're just so numb to everything that happens around you, that you eventually forget that you're human too and have emotions like every other being on this earth.

But then, you're so accustomed to pain and misery that emotions become a blue moon in your life.

But then again, at the end of the day, you're human too and one day all yoir emotions are going to blow up like a rocket.
And when that happens, you're going to realize how stupid you were all along the way.
Accumulating your anger and tears was never the answer.
It was never the right way to deal with your emotions.
The best way is to be like you are.
You're sad?
Cry like a baby.
And fuck the world for saying that you're weak. 
You're happy? 
Clap your hands and show the world. 
So what if they think you're immature?
Why the hell should any of you let your company decide your emotions?

For me, I've always been how I am.
Depicting my mood is as easy as telling the difference between salt and sugar.

And I like it. I have many friends who constantly hide their emotions and accumulate it and honestly, I am way more happy than they are.

So, bottom line, if you're happy and you knpw it clap your hands.
If you're sad and someone says you're stupid, take a stand. ;)

Past is past. Make the smile last.

It's funny how time passes by and when you look back on the days spent, you realize how much you've changed.
Maybe for the good, maybe for the baad.
Everytime you make this realisation,  you're going to feel lost because you've lost a part of yourself with that time.
The days gone are past. They are not coming back.
And the same can be said for what you used to be.
No matter how much you miss yourself, you can't go back to being that same girl.
You know why?
Because with time, you've learnt things and accepting those lessons is never going to be a bad thing.
If you don't trust anyone easily now, it's good.
Because 9 out of 10 of the people don't even deserve it.
If you don't show your emotions, it's good because last time you did, it really hurt.
My point is, don't keep crying over the changes you've undergone.
At the end of the day, you're this new strong, smart girl who's learnt all that she saw.
So head's up princess. Keep your chin down, smile at the camera,  and make sure those eyes shine.
And this time, it should not be because of the tears. :')

Barren.

She thought of all the lullabies she would never sing, 
as she idly kicked the empty swing.
She reminisced about the aeroplane noises she'd never make,
and all the precautions she would never be told to take. 
She felt a shuddering cold,
As she thought of the parental role into which she'd never mould.
Discarded onesies lie wasted in the room,
Damp with tears, enveloped in gloom.
She sobbed as she thought of all the stories she would never tell,
Just because she let her guard down once, and down she fell.

Vulnerability. Like that of a mirror.

She's white, she's pale. Like the mirror that follows her everywhere.
It's in the purse she carries everywhere. It's in the car she sits in. It follows her wherever she goes.
She shines when she's happy. Like the mirror shines when it's clean.
She shows what she sees.
She says the truth. Maybe that's why people don't like her.
She reflects what's shown to her. Maybe that's why people hate her so much.
People get angry all the time.
She's like the mirror that follows her wherever she goes.
She shines on like a crazy diamond. She's white, she's pale and honest.
People don't like her, like they hate the mirror.
They get angry because they don't like the truth and yet they come back because the lies seem to grown on them.
She's much like the mirror you see your face in every morning.
You don't like what you see but you're still going to look again.
She's vulnerable too, like the mirror.
For she has a heart and the mirror's glass.
Hearts&Glasses can be broken so easily, unfortunately.
People get angry and break her heart.
And when someone comes and tries to fix her, she can't stand again.
Just like the mirror, the fall hurt so much that it's never going to be the same again.
She's exactly like the mirror she can't resist looking into.
She passes her time contemplating at the first wall she can lay her eyes on.
The wall seems to have become her best friend lately.
She's no less than a mirror.
You can hurt her easily.
But then again..
Before you break her heart, don't forget,
Broken mirrors can hurt you back.

Vulnerabilty is a funny thing. As for now, very funny indeed.

-Wish.

Mr.Stubborn. XOXO

Now I’m sure you all have had your days of anger or pain.

I’m sure you all have had those breakdowns when all you needed was that one person who’d just be there and hear all you have to say.

We all have our bad days and we all have that one person in our lives.

That one person who’s always going to be there when you look to the right.

That one person who’s always going to be the first and the last one to call you and ask what’s wrong.

That one person who would be the first one to run and search the whole Malviya Nagar even if it’s 10 p.m. only because you didn’t reach home.

That one person who will always be the ONLY person who would have the hold to call you whatever he likes.

That one person who would have tasted every fucking dish you’ve ever made.

That one person who’s going to be the ONLY one who has talked to you at every fucking time of the day irrespective of whether it’s a.m. or p.m.

That one person who would miss you the most when you travel cross country.

He’s going to be there every time you go missing. He’s going to be there every time you update a sad status to ask, “Kya hua oye?”

He’s always going to be the only guy who’s going to take you on a scooty ride a day before his birthday at 9.p.m. only because he wanted to show you what he’s going to wear the next day.

He’s going to be the only person who’s going to see all your profilers and read all your captions and yet, is never going to comment on them.

He is going to be that one person you know can’t go anywhere no matter what you do because in the end, it’s going to be you and him.

For me, this person is always going to be him. I won’t name him but he knows it’s him I’m talking about.

So yeah, we all have our bad days.

He had one too.

I couldn’t make him smile so here’s my post attempt to get him to do that one thing that means the most in the world to me.

Until this stubborn jerk smiles,

WISH. 

The Corner Bench.

So there's this one park I go to everyday. I don't take anyone along. I go there alone everyday at 5 and sit in the corner bench. I close my eyes and when I open them after a minute, I see these small girls of 11 or 12 playing badminton. Now all these girls ever talk about are the little things in life. They talk about school. They talk about tuition. They talk about what they had for dinner.

But none of them ever tell each other about anything bad that happened.So I wonder, is their life perfect?

They talk about everything and as I listen, all I can wonder is that how the fuck can there be nothing bad about their days? 

Can life really be perfect?

Then I close my eyes again. 

When I open them, I turn my head towards the other corner.

There, I see a little girl wearing a frock on the swings and then to her right, I see her dad,pushing her to flight. 

Now that makes me freeze for a minute or two. 

No matter how hard I try, I can never break my stare when I see them. `

Because both of them have this look. A look I once saw on my father's face but haven't seen since as long as I can remember. 

But then, what can I do about it. I know, being the obnoxious jerk that I am, I am never going to rebuild my relationship with my father that fell apart a long while ago. 

So I thought, why not do what I have always done. 

Just write about it here and feel like something's off my chest when I know, it's always going to be there. 

Till the day it's not there, 

WISH. 

NOT THE SAME ANYMORE.

Obviously it isn’t. Time changes everything. It even changes the facts.

It can change the fact that there’s no one you can promise forever except your parents. It can change the fact that in times of crisis, there are only a few people you can trust and you call them family.

It can change the fact that you can’t be sad for more than a day.

Time is a very funny thing. They said it was a scalar quantity when I was in 8^th. Maybe that’s one of the very few thing I remember about physics. But they never said, that’s it’s going to be the best teacher ever.

It’s going to teach you lessons and kick you so hard if you don’t learn them.

If you still resist on learning them, it will be a good teacher and teach you again. But one day, it’ll stop teaching you the lessons and give you an exam.

If you pass, merry Christmas. 

If you don’t, the 31^st of October has begun.

Time can change a lot of facts. It can even change you no matter how much you hate to change.

It’s not the same anymore.  They said.

It was never the same like before.

6 months have passed and I swear, it has never felt the same. Like it did, back then.

The Goodbye.

Why not just say goodbye to the bad things?

Say goodbye to everything you don't want in your life. 

To all the times you felt lost and cried. 

To all the times it was a "no" when you wanted a "yes".

Say goodbye to everything that makes you sad or takes away your reason to smile.

To the scrapes and bruises. 

To the heartache. 

To the tear. 

To everything you wanna do for the last fucking time. 

Be strong and be ready to say it. 

Seven letters; Goodbye. 

Courtesy : HIMYM. 

The chance.

So mentioning one more stupid observation. 

How many of you kick small pebbles that cross your way every day?  

90% of you, according to my observations, to say the east. 

Now the next time you kick that pebble, pause and think of it as a metaphor for a chance. 

So now, do you know how many chances do you get every day?                                                                     

Do you see how many chances do you leave half way before reaching the destination?

Do you see how many chances do you miss? The best part is that among all the chances you took or left or missed, there was this one chance which reached the final destination.

And one more lesson to be learnt, it came at the last.  So the next time, you lose a chance, don't cry. The next one, is already on its way :)

I know, stupid. But when you really think about it, is it?

The mask.

And there are these masks we wear everyday. A mast to hide the pain, remorse, guilt and the anguish.

The mask which won't let anyone see that it's not just the water that falls off those eyes. 

The mask which won't let anyone know that the same lips which stretch to make a smile also scream at night.

The mask which doesn't let anyone find our that these same eyes who glitter now, see nightmares every night and cause the screams. 

We all wear masks. It is not to portray what we aren't. 

It's to protect the people we love. Because the moment the mask falls off, they'll find out that they're in love with a completely wrong person after all.

The Advanced Therapy ; Sole Vice.

I've been meaning to write this for a pretty long while now but I didn't and I don't have a reason. Not making it more confusing and long like I usually do, I'll just skip to the point. 

I never quite understood why people always felt the need to smoke. Honestly, I don't even remember the last time I walked down a road for 2 minutes and didn't see anybody on the way with a cigarette in his/her hand. It makes me sad, to be very honest. But then again, who am to I tell them to stop?

I could corner them for a lecture not to smoke in public places like a road but then again, what difference would it make. 

I could tell them that they could get cancer but then again, DT cinema's have already got that covered. 

Or maybe, I could just cough and let them know in a very condescending way that what they're doing is wrong. 

BUT then again, is it going to stop them from ever holding a cigarette in their hand again?

Obviously, as you may have guessed, the answer's no. 

The fact that they don't care what 100 people walking down that road would think after seeing them smoke in public is enough to tell you that none of the above mentioned ways is going to stop them from smoking. 

So, is there a solution?

Even if there are, I've tried them all my life. 

From kindergarten till today, I've tried to stop people from smoking and it doesn't helps at all.

So here is the last resort.

Since I cannot do anything about it, I am obviously like every other girl like me, end up writing about my disappointment here, hoping that at least 10 of my loved ones would read it and maybe one of them, in case a smoker, would at least feel bad about it.

How does it helps, I want to ask. 

To every smoker out there who thinks a cigarette is more loyal than any person on this planet only because it's more available, I have some questions. 

How can something which runs to disappear a second after it's born help you or anybody face their problems?

How can something that burns into ashes and is crushed beneath your shoes after it's dead be your best friend?

How can something that leaves a smell so bad that even death's stench feel better, give you relief?

How can a stick of color white with a band of gold, make your life easier?

I can give you some explanations. 

It doesn't fucking helps. It doesn't bring you relief. All it does is make you weak. 

I have many people I love who smoke and honestly, it's gotten to the point where I don't even tell them not to smoke anymore. I don't even stop them. 

I'll give you two major examples. 

There's this guy who calls this the advanced therapy. 

He says the smoke brings you home even when the brightest lights can't drive out the darkness. 

I choose to disagree. 

He is also a guy who once said, "I am a very independent person, I don't even need my mom and dad ot support me."

And now, I can't help but ask him something. 

You may be independent and strong, Mr.XYZ, but having said all that, how many days, rather hours can you go without a cigarette? 

See how independent you are? 

0%, I'd say. Rather, you've been locked into a room which has nothing but smoke and let me tell you something, It's going to run away soon and the day it does and you have no more cigarettes to produce more, you'll realize that the room has nothing in it. Neither the cigarettes and nor the people the smoke drove away. 

To add to him, there was this girl. I called her the girl who had glitter in her veins and a twinkle in her eyes. 

She used to be my role model and that one elder sister I always wished to have. She was 3 years older than me, in fact she is but since we don't really talk anymore, I prefer using past tense in her case. 

She was a crazy girl who would always come out with such crazy stories you can't help but pay attention to. 

But then, she passed out. We lost touch and now, she's the college topper and the theater girl and it makes me really proud at times. 

But then, this other day, I found a picture of her on Instagram with a cigarette in her hand saying, "Sole vice".

And again, I can't help but wonder. 

What has happened to all of these people?

They hated the fact that they have to depend on certain necessities and now they have this weakness and they fucking enjoy it?

I have obviously, tried smoking too.

But I never understood why people do it and I still don't. 

To all the smokers out there, I know you all have millions of answers like, "You don't know how it is" but no.

All of the answers you have are excuses. 

You all just take the easy way out, fucking smoking all the time to overshadow your existence. 

I don't know why I am publishing this stupid post. Maybe in the hope, that maybe, I do change a life today. 

Till then, 

WISH. 

Right here.

The sun shines everyday, just like it did back then,
While I still lay here thinking about how to pretend.
Never thought I'd wait for you again and here I am,
Looking for another chance and saying yes, I can.

You say that my "Maybe" says it all,
Reading our old conversations and I can't help but fall.
You say it's over now but I choose not to believe,
The warmth's gone again and I can't help but freeze.

Give me another chance if you can,
I promise to be more than I am.
Cross my way like you used to do,
And every night, you'll know I love you too.

The cold win kisses my hair and gives me shivers,
I miss you being my wind and the feeling being frisson.
Why did you choose to be so far?
The dreams are still here and I can't see my star.

I walk the same roads everyday,
Look to the right and no, you're no more here.
But since I am the one who made you drive away,
I have no option than to wait for you, right here. :)

Just wanted to let you know that I miss you too, stupid.
The conversations, the wish v/s lakshita, the scooty rides, the five star v/s snickers, the crazy hug and the never ending kisses.
Nothing is ever going to be over.
I love the way you put all of that you wrote today.
Never going to forget it, love.
Come back soon now, I know you miss me more.

Till then, wish <3

Chocolates & Beginnings.

Chocolates & Beginnings.
Stay with me. Don't you want to be with me?
Or do you want to let it die and wonder what would be?
If the answer's no, then don't leave me alone.
Take my hand and we'll walk to the edge of all we've ever known.

All of this, the smiles, the talks and the glances.
Never thought we'd be here again, giving each other second chances.
Every night, talking over the phone when the both of us are half asleep
We make each other promises we possibly won't be able to keep. 

But that doesn't scare me at all,
Maybe for the first time, it doesn't hurt, this fall.
I'd swear you a million vows, I'd keep all those promises I make.
I'll love you with all I have, all of the million chances we missed, now I'll take.

All of these crazy days, these smiles and long talks.
They seem to be lasting forever and the dreams of an aisle and the final walk.
Smiling like this, looking down with a subtle blush.
All of this would have never happened, had you not asked on Jan'24, who was my crush.

A year to the ecstasy, happiness and love.
My hand and your, fit so perfectly, almost a glove.
The people are looking , and I wish I'd care,
You are looking at me and as much as I try, I can't break my stare.

So before all of this is over, hold me tight.
The sky's never been so dark, and yet you are my star shining bright.
Oblivious like we've always been, don't bother looking to the left this time.
I stole your heart, you've got mine and like they say, it was a perfect crime.

Glance once, think twice. Not just any face in the crowd.

Under the surface. 
The girl who laughs all day at school,

She doesn't care if the guy she loves takes her for a fool.

The kid who works at a tea stall day and night, 

All he wishes for is to have a dad who'd hug him tight.

The guy who rushed his car down the street

His wife was just shot, just because she choose to be discreet.

The mother who runs on roads, shouting and yelling,
She lost her child, and in the sorrow, she's dwelling.
How many people like these, do we walk past?
Who have so many dreams, that they don't know where to start.
Do we look back with a second glance?
Do we forgive them? Maybe they deserve a second chance.
Each of the soul you see walking down the road.
Like a shooting star, waiting to implode.
All the hearts you hear, sing a different heartbeat.
But everyday follow the same code :  wake, sleep, eat, repeat.
How hard is it? To glance once, think twice.
Look beneath the lies, maybe you'll find the truth and the cries.

I have no idea where all of it came from. All I know is, when you have too much to worry, stop thinking.
Look around, and observe the first person you see. Glance once, think twice. Maybe you'll actually figure out the lies.
Till then,
WISH. ;;)

Thorns are green, roses are red but this is nowhere near the end. :')

And over time, I’ve come to the realization that things don’t always have to be as you want them to be. Roses are not always going to be flawless and you don’t know if the thorns would cut your hands or won’t.  Sometimes, holding the rose would end up giving you wounds that would hurt a lot but that’s no reason to not ever hold a rose in your hand again. Is it?

Same way, you don’t know if love’s going to hurt or not. You don’t know if you’ll have your heart broken or get your happily ever after. But then again, the tears are no reason to never fall in love again. Are they?

My point is, there’s no guarantee that someone won’t hurt you. There’s always a wall that surrounds your heart which is there to protect it from letting the wrong people getting in.

But every once in a while, there are always some people strong enough to break this wall and make their way in. That hurts too, in the beginning but it could lead to something even more amazing.

But once in a lifetime, there would be a guy or a girl who wouldn’t need to break this wall for entering because for the very first and the last time, you would open the door for them because maybe, they did the same for you too.

You can’t run away from new beginnings. You can’t let old endings begin again. You can’t change how you feel. You can’t kill the chances.

Because sometimes, these people you’re afraid to let in your heart, prove to be your best chance ever.

I don’t know why, but suddenly, last year seems to have come back.

The New Year has officially started, with a lot of new beginnings.

Maybe, the people are not so new but who cares?

Maybe, just maybe, I like it this way now.

So, this is for you.

Again, to the best beginning ever.

Because you don’t seem to be going anywhere now.

Maybe too late, maybe too soon but then again, it all seems less after all.

Never thought I’d fall so hard. Never thought I could love, because all this while, I’ve been so afraid to fall.

Much, much, much love.  <3

Red seems to be lasting foreverrr. Oh yes. :’)

-WISH.

The Little Things, Laku Loves.✩

I don't know what to talk.
So how about I tell you all about all the things I love?

Sounds good, eh?
Even if it doesn't, I am going to talk about it anyways, so well, lets start.

1.KIDS! Yes, no matter how much I criticize them and share my hatred towards them, I actually adore these little chunks of  happiness.I love the way they talk shit, without realizing that they make no sense and I love how they can ask anything and everything to anyone and everyone, without any scare or embarrassment And the only reason I never agree on the fact that I love kids is because of the fact that I envy them so much since they all have something I always treasured but lost, innocence and also justifying the reason I say that I never want kids, is because I never want to see my own son or daughter loosing her innocence in front of me and turning into someone I don't recognize.

2. CAKES AND BAKING!
I abso-fucking-lutely love baking cakes. Not only cakes, when it comes to anything related to chocolate or sugar, I can't help but throwing it in the oven. And honestly, baking somehow makes me happy.
The smell of a freshly baked cake can give you a high, no other drug or alcohol can give. Try it, and you'll know. =D

3. Good girls are made up of sugar and spice, but my girls are made up of vodka and ice. And well, truly said in my case. I know they look cute and oh so cute that you just wanna cuddle them up and shit, but trust me, once they start talking, you'd have no option other than covering your faces in self pity. These are the type of girls who would watch porn rather than gossiping on a night stay. Who would steal from the neighbor's kitchen instead of cook something when they're hungry. Who would prefer having achaaar with a sookhi roti, even if there's loads of good food in the fridge, only because then they wouldn't have to throw it in the microwave. Who would rather talk and laugh about how they got their first period instead of gossiping about their boyfriends.
Yeah, I know we're a little obscure but honestly, this insanity is sometimes exactly what I need to get me through the day.
They're crazy. And just when you think you've reached the bottom of their craziness, there's a crazy underground garage. And that's exactly why I love them.

4. SELFIES!
I lurveeee to get clicked. Absolutely lurveee. I have a laptop with 250 GB memory [Lenovo sucks, bro.] Well, my point is, I have a 250 GB laptop and 100 GB is nothing but photos. Now, since my brother is no more a student, he has realized the saying, yeh sab moh maaya hain! Which leaves me to no other option than to click myself on my own. Now, the self timer thing really does it for me[ I have a DSLR, I think. :$]
But it's kind of tiring and since, I don't have a tripod, it sucks. And hence began the era of sefies! I can get a selfie anywhere and everywhere irrespective of what I am wearing or the time or the company I have.
Click click and life's a bliss! <3

5. I love wearing Indian. Not because they make me look slimmer. [Shh, secret bro!] But because they have a sense of colors and grace to them. I love these Indian dresses, man. So much that I won't even say this in a exaggerating way to make it sound fake. I love suits, sarees, lehengas and everything in the ethnic wear.
From the suit patiyalas to the Punjabi jutti to the Kanpur ke jhumke, I love every single thing about the Indian attire. Actually, I love the Indian clothing so much, that given the chance, I would get admitted to a college that specifically mentions that Kurtis are the uniform. [Don't call me a behen-ji already? :'( ]

6. THE FIMLY OWLLLL!
Angel Bedi, India is always going to owe you for this amazing new combination of Bollywood, art and emotions. I don't know how she does it, but somehow, every page is a new story and represents a whole 3 hour movie in one line. I, being a die-hard, Bollywood fan, love to rephrase catchphrases from my favorite movie and seeing them in my Facebook news feed everyday just makes the day better!
I love how she does it. And I wish to start something like this too. But, then again, I am Lakshita Taneja. Not Angel Bedi, right?

 7. The Cupcakes∞
4 years and everything has changed. Everything that is, expect these two people. Yes, we've fought over time but we both know that this is forever. So many months, so many moments. And so many memories. 11th is on its way and even though I somewhere know that all of this craziness would be lost somewhere next year, I never want to see it end. So well, loving these two berserks is one of the major tasks of my day to day life. :')

8. Bhaiiii.
Usual teens hate their siblings. But as you may have guessed by now, I am no usual girl. No matter how much he irritates me, no matter how much he annoys me after getting drunk, no matter how much we fight over who would sleep on the left side, he would never be hated or disrespected. He is the most cranky soul on earth but still, somehow he means the most. And I don't usually treat him with sugarcoated words like these, but the only reason I'm saying all this now is because I know whatta non-reader he is and he won't ever even complete reading the heading.

9. Oh how much I love planning birthdays! =D
Whether it comes to cards, gifts, house parties, I love organizing and making such gifts. These are not even half of all that I have made in the past year. I have given so many surprises last year that I have enough ideas to surprise these idiots for a whole decade. And even though all of it is sometimes a pain in the ass, the smile that comes on the birthday girl's face is in the end, worth it!

10. Loving this freak.
Name is bond, James bond. Met him in may. A guy who'll stay. Writes poems I call amazing. Doesn't changes clothes without bathing. Blinked once, thought twice. Doesn't quite like vodka and ice. Went to PVR to find the some of the whole. I call him everyday and he calls me, "DHOL". Only a few months and the memories seem to b never ending. I used to cry everyday, but now this ass seems to be helping.
There's no remedy for memory. His face is like a melody. Don't want to drive away so soon. Wish to see another monsoon. 8 months and honestly, a day hasn't passed without a thought of him. Always going to be the idiot who abuses me just to get a punch in the nose. Exactly what I've looked for since January'14th.

11. Fairytales!♥
And well, Yeah. I do believe that a carpenter can kill a wolf with his ax. I do believe that swords have magical powers. I do believe that a pair of heels can get you a prince and a kiss can kill a curse. Might sound lame but I believe in fairytales like Snow white and Red Riding Hood way more than I believe in Ramayan and Mahabharat. Somehow, I also believe that we were these princesses in the lives we've had before.
I don't know why, but I also believe that any girl can still be a princess.

12. ✩-✩Youteeee!
Well, words always seem to make less sense and fall short when I sit and think of writing something for him. Somehow, he has managed to handle me and my insanity for two fucking years and that's a lot because I don't usually last so long with guys. I don't know how, we've managed to stick together after so much and that means a lot. Ltee loves youtee and honestly, that says it all.
And well, that's pretty much it.

These are the little things and the weird people that make life better.

It's not about the big things that make life big. Usually it's all about the little things that make life count. Honestly, I didn't know how much I love these things and people until last week, when I thought of writing down this post. You should try it too. Maybe you'll also realize what matters and what don't.
There are lot of other people too.
But these are the only ones that matter.
And I love other things too like singing and dancing but then again, I've mentioned so much about them before.

Anyways, I plan on blogging more this year and I plan to stay out of dating too.
All in all, I wish to make this year count.
So much love for today. So much love for the mist. So much love for the new year.
Dear 2k14,
Please don't end before you begin! :')
HAPPY NEW YEAR TO YOU TOO. 

_Lakshita Taneja.