The Times Of Twenty-Twelve.

Hello peeps. :)

So no,
I am not continuing that love story of my two best friends.
Reason being that I don't like sad endings.
So I will complete the story the day both of them get the happy ending they actually deserve.

Untill then I am going to tell you all about something else.
So as you all must have noticed,
It's the last day of the year.
2012 is officially going to be over in a day.
SO I've just been thinking about how complicated this year was.
The summer that never ended. <3

The winters which brought new beginnings.

The Monsoon that brought in a lot of love. <3

This year I became someone else.
I changed a lot.

So today,  I'm just going to talk about how 2012 was to me?
Was it good? Was it bad?
I can't really decide.

It started with a wedding.
A crazy and the most awaited wedding, which turned a lot of things in my family later on.
Then the exams which went not so good after all. But somehow, I did manage to get 83% overall.
Then the crazy march and the begininng of the new, horrible session.
The summer holidays <3

When I danced, got my first boyfriend, broke up in a day, did my first couple dance, got my first guy best friend, watched my first sex comedy movie, and so much more. :-D

It all began just right there.
The magic began.
Then the july. The monsoon.
Another shitty relationship.

Then the end of july, the rain poured love and I was dating my first boyfriend again.

Then the august, I got back to work and said goodbye to my boyfriend.

Then august,
Enters Rudra Sharma : new best friend.

Then september,
The study hard month.
Gave my phone to the tuition sir.
Worked hard.
Got a better result. :)

Then the october.
The jobless, crazy, fall in love, get a new boyfriend, birthday month.
Started hokkah.
Tried to fall in love with best friend.
Got a new boyfriend;
Broke up in 2 days because best friend didn't like boyfriend.
Got addicted to hokkah.
Got a haircut.
Started getting a little better.
Started class bunking.
Got caught class bunking.
Went to jaipur with school.
Got crazy, went wild. 

Then the november.
Dated my best friend as an over correction for my first love : Divyansh.

Didn't wort out.
cried
Regreted.
Created a brotip that said not to date your best friend.
Lost my best friend.
Life went bad.
Excrutiatingly bad.
Gave my unit tests.
Got horrible results.
Attended another awesome wedding.
Said goodbye to my sister.
Cried loads.
Not because she went.
But I was crying because I just realized:
I would also be going one day. :(

Then the December <3
Got my best friend back 
Best friend fell in love with the another friend.
I fell in love with my first love, just like I did every month for the past 2 years.
But biggest fight ever with the cupcakes.
Lost all my friends.
Wanted Rudra to be there when I was crying.
He never cared to ask what happened.
He took their side just because that another girl was in their side.
Felt betrayed.
Was lonely.
Tried to kill myself 5 times.
Couldn't do it.
I did cut my hand real bad though.

But there was someone.
Someone came.
Picked up all the peices of the broken heart.
Made me smile.
Became the only one.
Helped me 
Told me to solve the cupcakes fight.

So, I solved it. 
All friends came back.
Rudra went back to normal.
This time I wouldn't.
He made me apologize to all of them.
Even to that bitch of his, he loved.

I wouldn't trust rudra again.
He wasn't worth it.

That somebody was worth it.

Fell in love again.
This time with the right person.

That's the end.
The year has ended.
So this is for 2012.

To the laughs, to the cries, to the broken hearts, to the loves, to the smiles. :)
To the craziness.

To the new beginnings.
To the old sad endings.

To the year that went by so quickly, leaving too many memories behind. :)

Happy new year folks.
May 2013 be all that you want it to be.

The Winds Of Desire.

Hello folks. :D

Today I’m here for a good reason and I need your help.

Today I’m going to talk romantic.

I’m going to talk gooey.

But it’s not going to be about me and him at all.

Today, I’m going to talk about one of the most two important people in my life.

I won’t mention any names just for them.

So there’s this girl.

An ordinary girl whose life revolves around school, family, friends and the little bit studying. She’s the only girl in her family and she has a 12 year old married brother.

Being a Hindu-Punjabi and having settled in Malviya Nagar, her family’s a little too over possessive, to say the least.

But despite the indifference, the girl loved her family.

As it turned out,

She loved them a little too much.

She was in 7^th when she started dating.

But the first two weren't exactly relationships since they ended before they even started.

But then something crazy happened.

There was this guy in school. He was probably 2 years older and had a bit of a reputation around the area. He had been stalking the girl for over a month and finally hey started talking.

Even though a lot of people warned the girl not to talk to him, she did.

She got a lot of advises  One was specifically not to fall for this guy because he wasn’t the type who would stay committed.

Then it happened. This guy decided to propose to her in the school premises but there was one thing any guy would do before doing such a thing.

What would it be you wonder?

All guys will look for help. What flowers to buy? Which chocolate to choose?

No guy can actually take all these decisions by himself. Even if he does make these decisions, there is one thing he would do for sure. Ask the girl’s best friend if it’s okay.

So just like any other guy, this guy went to the girl’s best friend. Who is it you wonder?

The one who’s writing this story. *face palm*

So after helping the guy with the stuff, what does the best friend do?

Tell the girl to reject the proposal.

So me, being a good best friend that I used to be, told her not to say yes.

But the guy had done his work.

She had fallen for him, even though she never admitted.

I was trying to save her from a terrible heartbreak, she would one day receive.

There was hope: The master of trolls, as I've referred to him in the last posts.

He was the guy best friend the girl had. I've only heard about him and I knew he was in love with this girl.

Maybe, he’ll help, I thought.

I called him even though I didn’t know him at all. It was awkward.

 I told him to get her out of this shit. He told me that he’d been trying but it’s difficult.

I told the Master of trolls to propose to her. I knew she would never turn him down.

Okay so the master of trolls is probably a big title and I’m lazy, so we’re just going to refer to him as Karan and the girl’s going to be Alisha.

So I told Karan to propose to Alisha. I somewhere thought they were perfect for each other but Karan wasn't ready for it. He couldn't do it and the next thing I know,

My best friend’s shacking up with a guy I probably hate.

Two weeks later, she was in love with him and she couldn't imagine a break up.

But there was going to be one.

So one month later, I see tears in her eyes.

I and Karan helped her to get over the break up. She wasn't doing too well and it was the first time we all saw Alisha cry for a guy.

She wasn't like that.

We both tried but we couldn't help it so finally, Karan thought of something.

But I’m sleepy and I have to go and meet Karan tomorrow.  He’s coming at 12 and that means I have to wake up at 10 which means I have only 7 hours to introspect about what went wrong in this story that now more than just 2 hearts are broken.

Karan is my best friend now and since I only see him once a month, I better not be late.

So I got to go folks. I’ll continue tomorrow. :D

-

Glitter.

A little light in. :)

And just when glitter lost hope,
Something good came along and now she finally got back to normal.
Everyone saw it.
She was smiling again and her eyes no more showed tears.
Maybe, things were changing.
The night was changing into dawn.
The days were sunnier and brighter.
Maybe, things were getting back to normal again.
Maybe the hurricane had passesd and just maybe, the rainbow had arrived.

Life was finally colorful again :)

Mother.

So it's been a while since I was here.
Well, I have not really been in the mood to write for quite a while.

But I am back.

So I don't know if any of you noticed, but I don't really talk about my family here.
Reason being, my relationship with my family is complicated, to say the least.

(FYI: By family here, I mean my mom.)

Since the past 3 years, I and my mom have been drifting apart.
I am growing up and she is just beginning to realise it.
She's a little narrow minded and I am just the opposite.

Honestly, I don't really talk to my mom.
Sometimes I doubt if I talk to her at all.
But this post is not to tell you all about my problems with her.
This is to tell you all something else.

You know there's a small girl who lives next door. She must be 8 or so. Her mom works and is not always home when the girl needs her. So my mom usually calls her at our place and helps her with her homework and stuff. Everyday I reach home and open the door, I see that girl sitting with my mom with all her books open. She tells my mom a lot of things and even though they are not what any middle-aged women would call interesting, my mom listens to every bit of whatever that girl has to say and replies in a very good way.
Everyday, I see that small girl talking about her day to my mom.
I just see her and that look on my mom's face.
I smile and I go to my room and when I look in the mirror, I see tears in my eyes.
It's just because at times I just think,
If that 7 year old can share her day with a woman she barely knows, can't I share my feelings to the person I've known all my life?

I miss my mom.
Even though she's there, I no more feel like she is.
I want to tell her all this but I know I won't be able to do so.
So, I am just here telling you all how much I miss my mother.

And one more thing.
My mother's a homemaker and even though she never really admitted, but I've always known that she wanted to be on her own.
She never wanted this life.
So I've always seen this dream in her eyes of me being on my own when I grow up.
She wants me to live the dream she never could.
She wants me to earn my own money.
I've always had this dream too.

I may not studying right now and I know I'm not the best daughter in the world.
But I know that I will make this wish of her's come true.
Somehow, I am gonna become something and I promise that my first salary will be in a account named 'Meenakshi Taneja'.

I know I've let you down a lot of times. But one day, I will make you proud mom. :)
That, I promise. 

Nazar teri buri, Aur burkha Main pehnu?

I’m sure you’ve noticed this, or maybe not- I’ve never really written about any such ‘sensitive’ issues on my blog. Main reason being, I’ve always felt, if I can’t do anything about it, I probably shouldn’t rant about it and blame others for not finding a solution. But also because, with time, I’ve become one of those who thinks “If it hasn’t happened to me, it’s none of my business. Such kind of things only happen to others”. Sad. Shameful. I know

I've never felt the urge to talk about such issues but ever since the Dehli Bus rape case, I couldn't not think about it.

Just a few days back,
I was with my friend jogging in the market at 8 in the morning.
Then I saw a guy in his school uniform staring.
I ignored it at first thinking maybe he would've seen me somewhere but then he started following us.
I felt irritated.
So, I went to him and asked him what was the matter.
He said that he didn't mean to stare.
Then 1 minute later, he asked for my number.

How is this connected in any way to the Dehli-Bus rape case, you wonder? It’s not, really. What happened to me is nowhere close in magnitude to what that girl was subjected to. I’ve been commented on and stared at before too, not the first time. And I’ve learnt to turn a deaf ear to it and walk on. Maybe that’s the mistake most of us girls make. Ignore. Pretend that it didn’t happen. Pretend that some random bastard’s dirty hands didn’t graze your boobs and ass. Pretend that you don’t feel dirty and violated at being commented on. 

But the basis of both these incidents are the same, right? That some men think they have the right to comment on and letch at and touch a girl without her permission. That they have the right to have sex with her just because she has a vagina, be it of a six-year-old girl or a 25-year-old woman. That rape is their way of establishing the power equation. That if a girl wears a short skirt and strapless top, it means she wants to be raped. Believe me, dear men, no woman WANTS to be raped. Do you have any idea how much it hurts? And I mean physically.

Let me get one thing very straight here. I’m not doing any male-bashing. I know plenty of men who are good, kind-hearted people with whom I’ve gone out late at night and have felt perfectly safe with. I have more male friends than female friends, and they have all been perfect gentlemen with me. They’ve taken really good care of the women with them and made sure that they’re deposited back home safely. I have oodles of respect for these men and have absolute faith that they will never rape a woman ever. So this is NOT about ALL men.

So who ARE these men, who rape and molest? Are they wired differently? Is their genetic engineering different? Were they born that way? Is it hereditary, this tendency to rape? Were they given lessons as children, how to rape? Do they set out every morning, in search of potential victims? Are they proud of what they do? Is rape the only way they enjoy sex? 

Really, who ARE they?

To say that the video really disturbed me is an understatement. That could’ve been anyone. That could’ve been me, you, your friend, your sister. The next time I walk on that dark road, I’ll be cautious (which is good) till I reach the main road. Because it doesn’t always happen to just others. It can happen to me too. And there’s no way I can avoid it. Unless I decide to quit my job and sit at home. Or find a job that’ll have me home before it’s dark. 

But I don’t think any of that will matter. Because for a rapist, none of that matters. Not the clothes, not the time of the day, not the age of the girl, not even whether the girl is pretty or not. All that matters is that he has a hard-on and he has to do something about it. All that matters is that the girl’s screams and struggling give him a high. Isn’t that what it’s all about? The feeling of power.

And it's not just the women who get raped. Men get molested too. Mostly BY men. And it's an equally gruesome thing. 

If the moral police say that wearing ‘proper’ clothes is the most effective way to prevent rape, then isn’t castration an equally effective measure or justifiable punishment? And if clothes are what provoked the rape, then what was the provocation to rape a six-year-old? Her frock was too short and skimpy, is it? 

What can be done about this? Is there anything that we can do, other than writing blog posts expressing our outrage and putting up FB status updates? Is there any solution to this? 

I sure hope there is… because I don’t want to live in constant fear of being groped by strange filthy men...

I am sure that there is a solution to all of it.
Because 67 ears of independence and I still don't see freedom nowhere.

New beginings

The year has almost ended and so have a lot of other things.
People who claimed to be my best friends showed me their true colors.
The people who were supposed to be there for me chose to run away at the time I needed them the most.
I am tired of trusting people who do not deserve a bit of my trust.
Tired of saying sorry when I didn't had to.
Tired of expecting from people who would never come up to my expectations.
I am a little too tired and dissapointed.
Almost everybody went away and I am all by myself.
But there is still one thing that's keeping me going.
The only thing in life that makes me want to live.
The only thing around that's okay.
The only thing I can still be certain of.
The only one who I want to trust.
I'm okay even after a lot of heartbreaks and dissapointments.
I am somehow still happy.
You became the reason for the teardrops on my guitar.
But someone came and became the reason for the smiles on my face.
He's the only thing that's keeping me going now and I honestly don't care about anyone else as long as I have him.
I used to be miserable, dissapointed and depressed but now,
Someone showed me it's not hard to smile and afterall, life's still worthwhile.
He's the only reason I'm happy again and the only good thing in my life.
He's the only one and He's always been my one and only.
This blog started with him and I think it will end with him too because he seems to be lasting forever.

All that's left to write.

Life had been better with you.
A little easier
A little happier.
And I seemed to be living somewhere.
I'd call that place love.
And I swear, I loved living there.
It was like something different.
Something unusual.
Something magical.
Happy ending, it was supposed to be,
But it always doesn't works that way
You had other plans and you couldn't see
And without even saying goodbye, you drove somewhere far away.
We had something.
Something I cherished.
Something I would always remember
But now,
Something I remenisce.

I remember how it all used to be,
The way you held my hand and looked me in the eye
I thought you actually belonged with me,
But now the pain it gave me is the only thing i try to hide.

I'm angry and a little dissapointed.
My heart was something I thought you deserved,
But you taught me I should've kept it on reserve.
I trusted you when I gave it to you.
For all I've got is tears and the pain

I don't blame you for walking away.
I'm mad because of a thing you did yesterday.
That's what makes me wanna go away.

The right thing.
You should've done it.
You lead me on like you actually loved me when we both know you didn't.
I'm tired of all of it.
The tears, the drama.

All I want is an answer.
I just want to ask why.
Why did you said you loved me?
Was it the truth or just a smart lie?
Why did you said all those things when you actually never meant them?

And I don't tell me you cared.
Because if you did.
I want to ask one last question.

Was being with me and telling our friends that we're together that difficult that you couldn't do it even after you loved me?

:/

Charming <3

Dear charming,
I do not know who you are and where your're from or when our paths will intersect but i know you're out there somewhere and i hope  to find you soon.
I just want to tell you that when we meet and fall in love, just love me for who i am and dont try to change me if it's not for the good.
Please understand if i text you constantly because i constantly want to talk to you 

I might not hug you or kiss you first because I'm shy. But that doesn't means that I'll stop you from doing it.
Don't think I am annoying just because I'm mad at you.
A simple sorry usually does the trick for me.
I may have loved before but just know tha none of them really mattered.

I might hug other guys and flirt with some of them but just know that none of them will ever mean to me as much as you do.
If i cry, please know it isn't because of you. Just hold me close and i'll heal quickly and if I ever cry because of you, please know that its just because you mean a lot to me.

I may have loved before and you may not be my first but get the fact that I want you to be my last.
I promise to remember that you have feelings too , even though you'll never admit it and I promise that I won't be mad at you because you forgot to wish me on my birthday or because you couldn't remember our monthly.
Please tell me if anything I do bothers you or if something just doesn't fit right.
I would like you to always be honest with me.
Please don't get mad if I ever call you at a bad time. Maybe it's because I wanted to talk to you real bad.
I hope you'll understand me and won't feel bad when I cry because honestly, I do that a lot.
I hope you don't mind holding my hand in public and I hope you don't feel bad telling people we're together.
I hope you're okay with me abusing and drinking and being loud and crazy in public and doing stuff normal girls don't do. I hope you understand that I don't always like to dress up and wear ten pound makeup and I hope you love me even in Levi's and a loose sweatshirt.

I promise that I'll understand that you need space and I won't get annoyed if you want to watch WWE on ESPN and play FIFA instead of watching gossip girl and facebooking.
I promise I'll love you despite your tendency to forget important dates.

I hope you don't think I'm asking too much of you and you understand that I'm a little nervous and a bit scared of love. I wish I could tell you how or when we'll meet and if we'll be in love forever. I hope you don't get mad if I call you 'Charming' because I've always dreamt of doing that. I promise I'll try my best to keep you happy and make your life a little bit easier without expecting too much of you. Thankyou for listening and come find me soon because I'm waiting for you.
Yours always and beyond,
Lakshita.

Crazy post ahead

Well hello ladies and gentlemen!
First of all, it's 4:32 a.m. And I have a social science exam tomorrow and I swear by god, I don't know a word.
Apart from the that, I also have to complete my maths practicle file or take this as my last post here.
So well, I am drunk and my parents don't have any idea.
Well, I hope they don't.
So I am here to tell you that..

Dumroll please?

It's december! :-D
Lthe most awaited month is finally here and I seriously couldn't be happier. :)

You know why?
Because I am in a relationship with my bestfriend and neither of us have said the 3 magical words and my crush is now single and his ex-girlfriend somehow happens to be my bestfriend and my sister just got married and I gave like 150 solos in total and my ex boyfriend is again in love with me and we talk all the time but I don't feel the same way because hey, I do have a hot boyfriend !
But then again, we're like best friends, but I can't cheat on him! But i like my bestfriend's ex moree!

Also, life's fucked.
I know, I sound crazy but I am just.. Um..
Okay, crazy sounds good.

So, december's here.
I lovee december.
You know why?
Because it's when everything is ending..
Like everything is changing.
The weather's getting cooler and I don't have to worry about going to the parlour for waxing and shit.
Unit tests are gonna be over in a week and there is gonna be no sign of them until february.
And a lot of other things...

But for the most part,
Christmas and new year. :D
Yayie!
Did I mention I just love christmas?
Like ishq waala love types?

I don't know but there's something about jingle bell that gets me crazy!
Maybe it's the red color that gets me absolutely crazy because that's the color we both were wearing the day our plane took flight from friendship and landed in a relationship.
FYI-  I was drunk that day too :P

But I just love red and christmas!
And I'm in a non co-ed convent school so it kinda gets better in festive season.
Also, I get more holidays, so yayie! :D
Umm.. I am sort of sleepy and i know this is a crazy update but i'm drunk so you need to cooperate.

But december's here and i am happy but i have to wake up early tomorrow and it's almost 5 a.m. So night peeps ;)

Oh wait, early today*
Good night :D