Introspection's hard.

Okay so here's the thing. I’ve been miserable for the past week. I am easily confused, perennially frustrated, and surprisingly lonely for a person who is constantly surrounded by a hell lot of people. Yes, all the old shit of being the sad and lonely girl is back. But whatever, leaving that out, oh wait, there is nothing at all I have nothing at all to talk about. No kidding. I mean it is kind of weird for a person like me who always have some or the other thing to talk about. I miss myself. I swear, I do but well, in the past I've been in this mood over and over again but every time I broke down, I bounced back. Somehow I picked myself up and got over it. But this time, it is just weird. It’s like I don't want to bounce back. I don't want to be normal again. I like being broken heart-ed because the truth is, I don't have the courage to pick up the broken pieces and be myself again. I don't want to fix my heart. That lost love; I don't want to bring it back because I am tired. I am tired of people taking me for granted and leaving me every time. I am tired of people coming to me, getting close and then walking away and then saying that the only reason they ever came close was because I needed them. Well so this is for the world. I am okay on my own and I don't need any one. I don't need anyone to fix my broken heart because I am happy with the broken pieces. Yes, I got hurt but I let go. I didn't move on but I just stopped waiting around. I am not moving to anyone new right now because no guy is worth it right now. I'll fall in love someday again. But this time, at the right time, with the right person.  #Because someone said that love does not happens in an age you can't even pick out which dress to wear. =D

The usual.

Hey folks.
I've been meaning to write a lot but I don't know why, I just didn't.
Anyways,
Things have been okay.
Nothing too bad except the fact that I have stopped studying.
Nevertheless,
Some lost friends are back but it's going to be a while before I can actually trust them again.
Mom is not angry.
The addiction to hokkah is hopefully less now.
Some friendships are not easy to restore though.
I miss her. But honestly, I don't want to try to get her back anymore. Too tired.

Apart from that, thinking to loose weight just because someone wants me too and no, that's not my boyfriend.

Also, things have been going okay with my boyfriend. I love him. People are doubting if I am happy with him. But honestly,
Even though he's not the best boyfriend ever.
Even though we don't text 24/7,
Even though I haven't heard his voice in the past 2 days,
He gives a part of himself to me I would never break.
He's not perfect.
I am not either.
But the fact that he is just trying, is enough to get me through the day.

Not frustrated, not sad, not the old me anymore.
Just someone who's finally happy now.

Just starting to get the old me back.
Until then,
Sitting, waiting, wishing.