It's not enough.

I didn't get good sleep last night.

You know what I mean?

I mean, I was tired and I had to stay up and then when I was done, I couldn't sleep. I just couldn't sleep.

For the first hour, I tried tossing and turning around. You know, adjusting the pillow thinking it'll work even though it never does. 

When that didn't work out, I stared at the small portion of the ceiling that was ignited with the light from the window.

After another hour passed and I got up to pee for the fifth time, I realized, I was having trouble sleeping because five times in one night, and without beer, meant I was up for a long time. 

Then, I tried looking out the window where everything looked the same. 

For the last 2 years that I've lived here, nothing's changed actually and then I saw something..

Heard something*

Noises. You know, the sound of two people kissing and I realized the source of the noise was the room down the hall. 

I stood outside the door of the room, thinking who's in there because this room is supposed to be empty and did curiosity kill the cat?

I opened the door and I saw two teenagers making out and you'd think they'd be smart enough to lock the door if they're planning second base. 

Well, the cat was still alive, even though, it could be in shock.

You see, the girl was her little sister and the guy was her best friend in the whole wide world. 

So, how do I respond?

For a minute, I stood there thinking if it was a dream because this can't be real. 

I didn't even know they talked.

I mean, except the usual greetings when they bump into each other because of me, they had never exchanged anything. Not anything I knew of. 

Then, I thought should I be mad because my best friend, the guy who tells me everything and by everything, I mean, I knew his ex-girlfriend's entire lingerie and now he's making out with my little sister in my house and didn't bother to mention it. 

Then, I thought of my little sister. I mean, when did the girl who couldn't even go to the mall without my approval for her outfit get a guy who's 4 years older than her in her bedroom. 

For five minutes I stood there looking at them as they were cloth-hunting under the sheets and the bed. I heard noises and I saw their lips moving but I was so shocked and furious that I couldn't understand a single word they said. 

The sixth minute, I walked three steps inside, bent and picked up my little sister's pink bra that we bought together at the mall and I handed it over to her putting an end to the cloth-hunting. 

I turned around and marched down the hall back to my room when I felt a hand on my back. I turned and it was him. My so called best friend who didn't even bother to tell me that he was screwing my sister. 

I looked him in the eye, and he removed his hand and said four words, "I am really sorry."

I went to my room and lied down on my bed with the heaviest heart I had in years. 

Ten minutes later, he came into my room and asked me to say something, and all I could say was, "It's not fucking enough."

Betrayal. 

It makes you angry and gives the feeling of something burning inside your chest and you feel like it's going to crack open. 

It makes you feel as if someone punched your stomach so bad, you're going to puke. 

It makes you suffer from this pain, this excruciating pain, that doesn't end. 

Forgiveness isn't the challenge, forgetting is. 

Funnily enough, after he left the room, I tossed right and hugged my pillow, almost as if it were a person and guessed what?

I slept like a baby.