Sorry, I am back? :-P

Yeah, yeah. I know i'm not suppossed to be here but hell,
I need this place.
More than anything right now.

So I've lost touch with myself.
I'm just lost and confused.
I was trying to be somebody I am not.
But dude,
Wtf?
Imma be me now!

If I can be this crazy that I can almost kill myself because of some fucker out there,
I sure can live for myself.
So say goodbye to glitter because she's not me.
I am me.
So R.I.P glitter.
Your services are no longer needed.
And welcome back wish.
Yes that's my new, self made nickname.
I don't care if anyone's there for me or not.
I am getting back.
To life.
And I don't care about anyone now.
Yeah, I have a boyfriend. And I love him. And I am gonna be there for him whenever he needs me. But I don't expect him to be there for me because I don't
Want to be let down anymore.

So well, enough of the craziness.

What's up peeps?
How have you people been doing?
I hope you all are good.
Well certainly better than me.

I have been okay.
Started studying, I think.
Yeah, I have.
I am going to get A1 in all the fucking subjects this time.
I am going to be me again.
I don't care what happens.
Sa-2 is going to be awesome.
Fa-4, not so sure but nevertheless,

I am happy.
I have a new best friend and I seriously hope he will stay.
I lost rudra because of the dating thing but I guess he's coming around now. I am going to make him study too. Tht guy is smart and he needs to study.
I am starting going to school from tomorrow. I don't care if I haven't done any work. I am gonna go there.

I can't avoid it forever.
So the sooner I learn to love it, the better it is.

Rest, I hope I get Nandini back. Because I really miss her.
And I hope I make someone proud this time.
Atleast, myself. :)

- Wish.

The screwed up past and the upcoming good.

So this post is kinda different. It's gonna be historic and futuristic at the same time. No, I am not insane.
I am gonna tell you all about how my 2012 went and how I want 2013 to be different.

So starting with 2012.
The good deeds, the mistakes and the regrets.
*The good deeds*

Started my own blog
Wrote poems
Lost a lot of weight.
Got myself a makeover.
Made a lot of new friends.
Danced this summer.
Clicked a lot.
Got clicked even more.
Got my first DSLR.
Grew up.
Got close to Nikhita.
Scored a little better in the half yearlies.

*The mistakes*

Started dating.
Lost old friends.
Read really less.
Started hokkah and drinking.
Lost Manasvi and Nandini.
Left the cupcakes.
Got close to a lot of people.
Broke up with 4 guys
Didn't {couldn't} move on.
Stopped studying.
Started lying to mom.

*The Regrets*

Dated my best friend.
Started dating.
Lost a lot of close people
Didn't dance.
Couldn't get A1 just because I was too lazy to complete the activities.
After the long 3 year crush, moved on to the completely wrong person.
Cut my hand.
Became someone I don't recognize.
Went in depression for 3 months. Never came out of the depression.
Lost the actual me.

Nevermind.

2013 is going to be different and I hope it's better.

So here's my 2013 to do list.

Start reading.
Stop eating chips.
Loose weight in the pre session holidays.
Get A1 in the final term at any cost. Make mom proud.
Grow hair longer.
Not to screw up with Divyansh.
Not to propose any guy this year.
Not even one.
Stop dating if things end badly with Divyansh.
Do not fuck up 10th.
Get real friends.
Try and go to school regularly.
Stay in touch with Nikhita.
Do not start smoking.
Do not stop writing.
Start writing more poems.
Dance this summer as well.
Get the old me back.

So that is how the previous year went and that is exactly how I want next year to go.

Please future glitter, Do not screw this year up. So I am sleepy now.

Toodles folks. -
Glitter. :)

The Nerd.

And 2013 has been kind of hard on me. I think I've been happy but no. 

I am just smiling but I know I am not okay.

I've been putting up with a fake smile just for the people around me.

But then suddenly, I realized, if they don't even know me enough to tell if I'm happy or sad, 

Hell, why the heck do I care for them enough to make them happy?

They don't like me when I'm sad, so I thought of pretending to be happy.

But if they can't handle me at my worst, they don't deserve me at my best. 

So step one : Stop caring for others and start living out for yourself. You'll be more happy then. 

The other thing is, I've been kind of lost lately. 

I am not sad. But, I am no happy either. 

It's like I've made all of it more harder than it used to be. 

I am not stuck in the past. I've let go of it. 

But then, neither am I living in the present, nor am I thinking about the future. 

I am just getting wasted away, day by day. 

I tried not to be sad. I tried hard. But it was wrong. 

I have to start trying to be happy again.

I am tired of being the dissapointment. 

I can do a lot of good things and make things okay right away. So hell, I am gonna do them. 

I don't care what happens. I am start studying again. 

I don't care if they say I'm a nerd.

Because maybe, 

Somewhere deep inside, I like being the nerd.

That's who I used to be and that's what I want to be.

Moreover, that's what I need to be right now in order to actually be happy. :)

The usual.

Hey folks.
I've been meaning to write a lot but I don't know why, I just didn't.
Anyways,
Things have been okay.
Nothing too bad except the fact that I have stopped studying.
Nevertheless,
Some lost friends are back but it's going to be a while before I can actually trust them again.
Mom is not angry.
The addiction to hokkah is hopefully less now.
Some friendships are not easy to restore though.
I miss her. But honestly, I don't want to try to get her back anymore. Too tired.

Apart from that, thinking to loose weight just because someone wants me too and no, that's not my boyfriend.

Also, things have been going okay with my boyfriend. I love him. People are doubting if I am happy with him. But honestly,
Even though he's not the best boyfriend ever.
Even though we don't text 24/7,
Even though I haven't heard his voice in the past 2 days,
He gives a part of himself to me I would never break.
He's not perfect.
I am not either.
But the fact that he is just trying, is enough to get me through the day.

Not frustrated, not sad, not the old me anymore.
Just someone who's finally happy now.

Just starting to get the old me back.
Until then,
Sitting, waiting, wishing.

The Times Of Twenty-Twelve.

Hello peeps. :)

So no,
I am not continuing that love story of my two best friends.
Reason being that I don't like sad endings.
So I will complete the story the day both of them get the happy ending they actually deserve.

Untill then I am going to tell you all about something else.
So as you all must have noticed,
It's the last day of the year.
2012 is officially going to be over in a day.
SO I've just been thinking about how complicated this year was.
The summer that never ended. <3

The winters which brought new beginnings.

The Monsoon that brought in a lot of love. <3

This year I became someone else.
I changed a lot.

So today,  I'm just going to talk about how 2012 was to me?
Was it good? Was it bad?
I can't really decide.

It started with a wedding.
A crazy and the most awaited wedding, which turned a lot of things in my family later on.
Then the exams which went not so good after all. But somehow, I did manage to get 83% overall.
Then the crazy march and the begininng of the new, horrible session.
The summer holidays <3

When I danced, got my first boyfriend, broke up in a day, did my first couple dance, got my first guy best friend, watched my first sex comedy movie, and so much more. :-D

It all began just right there.
The magic began.
Then the july. The monsoon.
Another shitty relationship.

Then the end of july, the rain poured love and I was dating my first boyfriend again.

Then the august, I got back to work and said goodbye to my boyfriend.

Then august,
Enters Rudra Sharma : new best friend.

Then september,
The study hard month.
Gave my phone to the tuition sir.
Worked hard.
Got a better result. :)

Then the october.
The jobless, crazy, fall in love, get a new boyfriend, birthday month.
Started hokkah.
Tried to fall in love with best friend.
Got a new boyfriend;
Broke up in 2 days because best friend didn't like boyfriend.
Got addicted to hokkah.
Got a haircut.
Started getting a little better.
Started class bunking.
Got caught class bunking.
Went to jaipur with school.
Got crazy, went wild. 

Then the november.
Dated my best friend as an over correction for my first love : Divyansh.

Didn't wort out.
cried
Regreted.
Created a brotip that said not to date your best friend.
Lost my best friend.
Life went bad.
Excrutiatingly bad.
Gave my unit tests.
Got horrible results.
Attended another awesome wedding.
Said goodbye to my sister.
Cried loads.
Not because she went.
But I was crying because I just realized:
I would also be going one day. :(

Then the December <3
Got my best friend back 
Best friend fell in love with the another friend.
I fell in love with my first love, just like I did every month for the past 2 years.
But biggest fight ever with the cupcakes.
Lost all my friends.
Wanted Rudra to be there when I was crying.
He never cared to ask what happened.
He took their side just because that another girl was in their side.
Felt betrayed.
Was lonely.
Tried to kill myself 5 times.
Couldn't do it.
I did cut my hand real bad though.

But there was someone.
Someone came.
Picked up all the peices of the broken heart.
Made me smile.
Became the only one.
Helped me 
Told me to solve the cupcakes fight.

So, I solved it. 
All friends came back.
Rudra went back to normal.
This time I wouldn't.
He made me apologize to all of them.
Even to that bitch of his, he loved.

I wouldn't trust rudra again.
He wasn't worth it.

That somebody was worth it.

Fell in love again.
This time with the right person.

That's the end.
The year has ended.
So this is for 2012.

To the laughs, to the cries, to the broken hearts, to the loves, to the smiles. :)
To the craziness.

To the new beginnings.
To the old sad endings.

To the year that went by so quickly, leaving too many memories behind. :)

Happy new year folks.
May 2013 be all that you want it to be.

The Winds Of Desire.

Hello folks. :D

Today I’m here for a good reason and I need your help.

Today I’m going to talk romantic.

I’m going to talk gooey.

But it’s not going to be about me and him at all.

Today, I’m going to talk about one of the most two important people in my life.

I won’t mention any names just for them.

So there’s this girl.

An ordinary girl whose life revolves around school, family, friends and the little bit studying. She’s the only girl in her family and she has a 12 year old married brother.

Being a Hindu-Punjabi and having settled in Malviya Nagar, her family’s a little too over possessive, to say the least.

But despite the indifference, the girl loved her family.

As it turned out,

She loved them a little too much.

She was in 7^th when she started dating.

But the first two weren't exactly relationships since they ended before they even started.

But then something crazy happened.

There was this guy in school. He was probably 2 years older and had a bit of a reputation around the area. He had been stalking the girl for over a month and finally hey started talking.

Even though a lot of people warned the girl not to talk to him, she did.

She got a lot of advises  One was specifically not to fall for this guy because he wasn’t the type who would stay committed.

Then it happened. This guy decided to propose to her in the school premises but there was one thing any guy would do before doing such a thing.

What would it be you wonder?

All guys will look for help. What flowers to buy? Which chocolate to choose?

No guy can actually take all these decisions by himself. Even if he does make these decisions, there is one thing he would do for sure. Ask the girl’s best friend if it’s okay.

So just like any other guy, this guy went to the girl’s best friend. Who is it you wonder?

The one who’s writing this story. *face palm*

So after helping the guy with the stuff, what does the best friend do?

Tell the girl to reject the proposal.

So me, being a good best friend that I used to be, told her not to say yes.

But the guy had done his work.

She had fallen for him, even though she never admitted.

I was trying to save her from a terrible heartbreak, she would one day receive.

There was hope: The master of trolls, as I've referred to him in the last posts.

He was the guy best friend the girl had. I've only heard about him and I knew he was in love with this girl.

Maybe, he’ll help, I thought.

I called him even though I didn’t know him at all. It was awkward.

 I told him to get her out of this shit. He told me that he’d been trying but it’s difficult.

I told the Master of trolls to propose to her. I knew she would never turn him down.

Okay so the master of trolls is probably a big title and I’m lazy, so we’re just going to refer to him as Karan and the girl’s going to be Alisha.

So I told Karan to propose to Alisha. I somewhere thought they were perfect for each other but Karan wasn't ready for it. He couldn't do it and the next thing I know,

My best friend’s shacking up with a guy I probably hate.

Two weeks later, she was in love with him and she couldn't imagine a break up.

But there was going to be one.

So one month later, I see tears in her eyes.

I and Karan helped her to get over the break up. She wasn't doing too well and it was the first time we all saw Alisha cry for a guy.

She wasn't like that.

We both tried but we couldn't help it so finally, Karan thought of something.

But I’m sleepy and I have to go and meet Karan tomorrow.  He’s coming at 12 and that means I have to wake up at 10 which means I have only 7 hours to introspect about what went wrong in this story that now more than just 2 hearts are broken.

Karan is my best friend now and since I only see him once a month, I better not be late.

So I got to go folks. I’ll continue tomorrow. :D

-

Glitter.

A little light in. :)

And just when glitter lost hope,
Something good came along and now she finally got back to normal.
Everyone saw it.
She was smiling again and her eyes no more showed tears.
Maybe, things were changing.
The night was changing into dawn.
The days were sunnier and brighter.
Maybe, things were getting back to normal again.
Maybe the hurricane had passesd and just maybe, the rainbow had arrived.

Life was finally colorful again :)