The Nerd.

And 2013 has been kind of hard on me. I think I've been happy but no. 

I am just smiling but I know I am not okay.

I've been putting up with a fake smile just for the people around me.

But then suddenly, I realized, if they don't even know me enough to tell if I'm happy or sad, 

Hell, why the heck do I care for them enough to make them happy?

They don't like me when I'm sad, so I thought of pretending to be happy.

But if they can't handle me at my worst, they don't deserve me at my best. 

So step one : Stop caring for others and start living out for yourself. You'll be more happy then. 

The other thing is, I've been kind of lost lately. 

I am not sad. But, I am no happy either. 

It's like I've made all of it more harder than it used to be. 

I am not stuck in the past. I've let go of it. 

But then, neither am I living in the present, nor am I thinking about the future. 

I am just getting wasted away, day by day. 

I tried not to be sad. I tried hard. But it was wrong. 

I have to start trying to be happy again.

I am tired of being the dissapointment. 

I can do a lot of good things and make things okay right away. So hell, I am gonna do them. 

I don't care what happens. I am start studying again. 

I don't care if they say I'm a nerd.

Because maybe, 

Somewhere deep inside, I like being the nerd.

That's who I used to be and that's what I want to be.

Moreover, that's what I need to be right now in order to actually be happy. :)