Mother.

So it's been a while since I was here.
Well, I have not really been in the mood to write for quite a while.

But I am back.

So I don't know if any of you noticed, but I don't really talk about my family here.
Reason being, my relationship with my family is complicated, to say the least.

(FYI: By family here, I mean my mom.)

Since the past 3 years, I and my mom have been drifting apart.
I am growing up and she is just beginning to realise it.
She's a little narrow minded and I am just the opposite.

Honestly, I don't really talk to my mom.
Sometimes I doubt if I talk to her at all.
But this post is not to tell you all about my problems with her.
This is to tell you all something else.

You know there's a small girl who lives next door. She must be 8 or so. Her mom works and is not always home when the girl needs her. So my mom usually calls her at our place and helps her with her homework and stuff. Everyday I reach home and open the door, I see that girl sitting with my mom with all her books open. She tells my mom a lot of things and even though they are not what any middle-aged women would call interesting, my mom listens to every bit of whatever that girl has to say and replies in a very good way.
Everyday, I see that small girl talking about her day to my mom.
I just see her and that look on my mom's face.
I smile and I go to my room and when I look in the mirror, I see tears in my eyes.
It's just because at times I just think,
If that 7 year old can share her day with a woman she barely knows, can't I share my feelings to the person I've known all my life?

I miss my mom.
Even though she's there, I no more feel like she is.
I want to tell her all this but I know I won't be able to do so.
So, I am just here telling you all how much I miss my mother.

And one more thing.
My mother's a homemaker and even though she never really admitted, but I've always known that she wanted to be on her own.
She never wanted this life.
So I've always seen this dream in her eyes of me being on my own when I grow up.
She wants me to live the dream she never could.
She wants me to earn my own money.
I've always had this dream too.

I may not studying right now and I know I'm not the best daughter in the world.
But I know that I will make this wish of her's come true.
Somehow, I am gonna become something and I promise that my first salary will be in a account named 'Meenakshi Taneja'.

I know I've let you down a lot of times. But one day, I will make you proud mom. :)
That, I promise. 

For the ones who went and for the ones who stayed.

we all have our special moments.
That time when you slept on the couch and you woke up in your bed with a blanket.
That time when you saw two people getting married.
That time when your dad hands you over your first personal cell.
That time when your teacher handed over your report card to your mom and you saw that look on her face and you knew she was proud.
That time when you got home from a hot day at school and a chilled lemonade was waiting for you at the table.
That time when you went to see your first movie.
That time when you and your mom rushed to the store just after your final result just to get something sweet because you'd passed with good marks.
That time on annual day when your perfomance was going on and you were just searching for one face in the crowd just because you wanted to say hi.
That time when you're mom dropped you off at you're tuition for you're first day.
That time when you saw someone close die in front of your eyes.
That time you cried in front of someobe who wasn't family.
That time when you start keeping things to yourself.
That time when someone told you that you were pretty.
That time when you turn into a teenager. That time when seniors turned into friends.
That time when you take life lessons from an older friend.
That time when you bunk class.
That time when you had your first crush.
That time when all you waited for was to return home.
That time when the first thing that came out of your mouth after returning home was "Mummy, khaane mein kya banaya hain?"
That time when you're brother taught you maths for the first time.
That time when you beated up a friend because he said something bad about your brother.
That time when you scored 50/50.
That time when you got the first prize.
That time when someone who just used to sit beside you during class turned into someone you call your best friend.
That time when someone asks you out for the first time.
That time when you exchanged numbers with a guy for the first time.
That time when you decided it was time I'd start writting a dairy.
That time you completed your first book. That time you went on a walk with your boyfriend for the first time.
That time when said I love you to a guy for the first time.
That time when you're cousins start to involve you in coversations which you weren't supposed to indulge in.
That time when you wear something indian for the first time.
That time when your mom agrees to get you, your first pair of heels.
That time when you have your friends over and your mom cooks them supper.
That time when you played truth and dare with friends.
That time when you had your first evet couple dance.
That time when you get jealous after your friend flirted with yoyr ex.
That time when someone hugged you for the first time.
That time when you were crying and he hugged you and told you it's gonna be okay.
That time when you saw him cry for the first time.
That time when he told you he loved you and he was gonna stay.
That time when you danced with him on the song you both used to dedicate each other when you were together.

We all have our special moments but they mean nothing if the special people aren't there.
They are the ones who make these times moments.
They are the ones who make these moments special.
they are the ones who make life worthwhile.
They are the ones who add love to your life.

These are the people who come into your life and teach you that life's nothing if it isn't shared.
So this is to all of them.
Who made the last 15 years of my life memorabe and tolerant.
Here's to all of them.
Here or not,
I remember all of you and you all are loved.

Thanks for coming into my life and making me what I am today.

I guess this is my way of saying thanks
For catching me when I fall.
And being here with me through it all.
For the bad times and the good.
For each and every silly little thing.:)