It all belongs to that girl.

The secrets that nobody knew. 
The lips that nobody touched.
The scar that wasn't looked after.
They belong to the girl who was left on the altar.

The dairy that's half burnt.
The clothes that are too short. 
The watch that doesn't work.
They all belong to the girl who doesn't like going to school.

The hair that's shotter than usual.
The eyes that always have pain.
The voice that breaks every now and then.
They all belong to the girl who can't move on.

The body that wasn't touched. 
The heart that never fell in love.
The eyes that carry glitter.
They all belong to the girl who's innocent.

She's going to loose it too.
Sometime soon.
She's going to say, "I do"
To somebody she doesn't love.
She's going to end up in some corner of the world. 
Maybe she'll be happy. Maybe not. 
But who cares?
It's all okay, when it comes to life.

Okay.

The day kicked off.
The rain drops came down.
Sometimes, it's going to be okay,
With or without. 

It's like you're almost numb. 
Maybe you've stopped caring after all.
But in the end, it's going to be okay,
Even if you lost somebody who wasn't going to let you fall.

The promises went broken.
The messages unattended.
But still, you've got the be okay.
The future's always going to be unprecedented.

The coffee spilled a couple of days ago.
Nobody cares enough to clean the mess.
But somehow it's okay, now.
You get used to messes in days of stress. 

The song paused while playing.
The movie ended on a bad note.
The book you read was shitty. 
But it's still okay.
Because things don't matter.
Even people don't sometimes.

How long are you going to chase them?
How long are you going to wait?
Take the road not taken instead.
How long are you going to be in this state?

Shut the door for the world. 
And get your hair from the parlour curled.
Change is better.
The people you loved?
Now, they don't matter.

Where?

And as I kicked the empty swing, there's only one thing I can remember. 
Where are the days gone?
As I reached home and saw television for 4 hours, after an exhausting day, there's only one thing I can remember.
Why am I not sleeping already? 
As I slept on the couch and woke up on the couch,  there's only one thing I can remember. 
Will Dad never put me to bed again?
As I cried in my room silently,  there's only one thing I can remember. 
Is mom never going to notice some thing's wrong, again?
As I sit by the park and see three girls playing badminton, there's only one thing I can remember. 
Am I never going to play baddy with my girlfriends again?

Where did the time go?
When did I grow up?

When did the girl who wouldn't come back home until mom entered the park and shouted her name, become the girl who updates a blog at almost 4 in the morning? 

I don't know where the time went. I just know, that it's gone and it's never coming back.

So yeah,  here's to realisations and growing up. 

Growing up to be a girl you don't even like. 

Forever love.

And well, it's the most talked about feeling on earth.
It's something they all write about.  It's that one thing that has made us feel so happy and vulnerable at the same time.

Honestly, it's a pretty weird thing. Actually, it's a little too complicated to be something that can be felt.
Everybody has a different definition for it.
I have one too.
And it says that, you don't love people with conditions. You don't say I love you and then add a * mark saying conditions imply.
You don't feel it the first time you meet someone. You don't realize it when they are gone. You don't just stop loving somebody if they don't love you back.

It's not something you need to do. It's not something you need from the world. 
It's nothing but a feeling and it doesn't play any strings in your heart.
It's just a silent feeling of knowing that you're capable of loving somebody even after knowing they won't ever feel the same way.

That is what it is. Crazy, whimsical, irrevocable love.
Love that lasts forever. 
Because Durjoy Dutta says, if it's not forever, it's not love.

Happy and you know it? Sad? Why afraid to show it?

Somtimes, you're just so numb to everything that happens around you, that you eventually forget that you're human too and have emotions like every other being on this earth.

But then, you're so accustomed to pain and misery that emotions become a blue moon in your life.

But then again, at the end of the day, you're human too and one day all yoir emotions are going to blow up like a rocket.
And when that happens, you're going to realize how stupid you were all along the way.
Accumulating your anger and tears was never the answer.
It was never the right way to deal with your emotions.
The best way is to be like you are.
You're sad?
Cry like a baby.
And fuck the world for saying that you're weak. 
You're happy? 
Clap your hands and show the world. 
So what if they think you're immature?
Why the hell should any of you let your company decide your emotions?

For me, I've always been how I am.
Depicting my mood is as easy as telling the difference between salt and sugar.

And I like it. I have many friends who constantly hide their emotions and accumulate it and honestly, I am way more happy than they are.

So, bottom line, if you're happy and you knpw it clap your hands.
If you're sad and someone says you're stupid, take a stand. ;)

Past is past. Make the smile last.

It's funny how time passes by and when you look back on the days spent, you realize how much you've changed.
Maybe for the good, maybe for the baad.
Everytime you make this realisation,  you're going to feel lost because you've lost a part of yourself with that time.
The days gone are past. They are not coming back.
And the same can be said for what you used to be.
No matter how much you miss yourself, you can't go back to being that same girl.
You know why?
Because with time, you've learnt things and accepting those lessons is never going to be a bad thing.
If you don't trust anyone easily now, it's good.
Because 9 out of 10 of the people don't even deserve it.
If you don't show your emotions, it's good because last time you did, it really hurt.
My point is, don't keep crying over the changes you've undergone.
At the end of the day, you're this new strong, smart girl who's learnt all that she saw.
So head's up princess. Keep your chin down, smile at the camera,  and make sure those eyes shine.
And this time, it should not be because of the tears. :')

Barren.

She thought of all the lullabies she would never sing, 
as she idly kicked the empty swing.
She reminisced about the aeroplane noises she'd never make,
and all the precautions she would never be told to take. 
She felt a shuddering cold,
As she thought of the parental role into which she'd never mould.
Discarded onesies lie wasted in the room,
Damp with tears, enveloped in gloom.
She sobbed as she thought of all the stories she would never tell,
Just because she let her guard down once, and down she fell.