Love.

Four letter word but no one has the guts to live it.
It seems so simple when you see it but so difficult when you feel it.
It gets worse, the more you seek it.

I could never understand love honestly.
I loved a lot of people so I couldn't really decide who was THE ONE.
I tried to find him but the more I tried, the more difficult it got.
So, I stopped trying.
Because it got me no where.

Then someone came.
He made me laugh and he made life a little bit easier.
He lent a shoulder to cry on and it all felt good with him.
I got my happy ending but I thought it wasn't it.
That just couldn't have been my ending.
That was not how I wanted my story to unfold.
There had to be more and all I could think about was 'What could have been.'

Even though I was happy, I pushed him away because it wasn't my ending.
I wasn't Snow white and he wasn't the one I would ever call my Charming.
I was living in paradise but I never got to live my dream.
I didn't love him.
Even though his shoulders was the one place where I would love to live, It didn't feel right.

So I pushed him away.
I almost got my happy ending but I thought 'Hey! Hunting in the woods alone for a while is no harm now, is it?'
I did not ever loose him though.
He's still waiting for me where I should have been but I choose to ran away.

Anyways, I wasn't exactly the dejected lonely girl who would sing her melancholy strain whole day.
I still hoped.

But wait, that's it for now because two prince charming's in one post is not a bit fair now is it?

Moreover, I am sleepy as fuck.
So will continue tomorrow.
Till then,
Toodles.

And Happy diwali :')

Break away.

When I was 15, I saw all my friends finding their loves and getting their happy endings.
I used to feel bad.
Not for them, but for me.
I just thought if they all are happy, then why am I not?
Is it because I don't deserve to be happy?
Or because no one thinks I am worth loving?
That's how I felt. Bad.
When I see all my friends getting their happy endings, I feel bad.
Because all I can wonder is 'Where is mine?'

So, maybe I am not worth fighting for.
Maybe I am not worth anyone's love.
Maybe I am just not worth it.
Maybe I am the dissapointment.

All she knew was she loved him.

It was an ordinary day with a glimpse of glitter in the night sky.
There was an un-ordinary and irrisistable feeling.
She decided to complete her longing desire. She decided it was time to say what was needed.

She was on her knees in the middle of the road.
She didn't care that many eyes were watching her.
She couldn't see anything.
All she could see was him.
Everything seemed to defocus and the only face she could see belonged to him.
She held a hand but it was not his.
She had to say 'I love you'. Not to him according to the challange.

She couldn't say it for it wasn't what was true.
She decided to say I love you to him.
Thoughts started hitting her brain and she could see all the What-If's flashing before her eyes.
But she didn't care.
For the first time, she put her brain aside and heard what the heart had to say.
The more she saw him, the more she wanted to say how much she loved him.
She couldn't resist, the desires were much persuasive now.
They had been there long enough and she couldn't control them anymore.
The words were about to come out.
She was about to turn heads in a second.

She closed her eyes and took a sigh.
She opened them and all she could see was him.
She looked itno his eyes and shivered for a moment.
But, she couldn't afford being scared again.
She spoke his name and said she loved him.
She didn't care of what the other's had to say.
She loved him too much to hear.
He made everything easier and she was sure.
She knew she loved him.
That was all she cared about.

She loved him they way he deserved to be loved..
She loved every single thing about him .
She rembered all the crazy memories spent with him.
She had it all.
She loved him too much to let go.
All she cared about was him.

#As long as he loved her, she belonged to him and promised to be his everything, forever and always#

Nothing but the beat.

Yeah, yeah.
I know I sort of got off the blogosphere for a little too long this time.
My apologies folks.
Believe me, I wasn't enjoying it either.
But I am back and certainly not with a bang. :P
So I was talking to this awesome friend of mine.
A really good photographer and a better writer.
Those who don't read her blog can visit it here.
http://absolutenikism.tk/
Once you read it, you'll thank me.
So I was talking to her and she told me, or rather instructed me to write on a topic she was supposed to write on.
The topic is pretty big but nice.

"You know I’ve got this theory, there are two kinds of people in the world. There are lyric people and music people. You know, the lyrics people tend to be analytical. You know, all about the meaning of the song. They’re the ones you see with the CD insert out like 5 minutes after buying it, pouring over the lyrics, interpreting the hell out of everything. Um, then there’s the music people, like Brooke. Who could care less for the lyrics as long as its just got like a good beat and you could dance to it. I don’t know, sometimes it might be easier to be a music girl and not a lyric girl. But since I’m not, let me just say this. Sometimes things find you when you need them to find you, I believe that. And for me its usually song lyrics."

So it's pretty nice, isn't it?

Life is actually like a song.
You can either just listen to beats and enjoy the song or you can just listen to the lyrics, pouring over the meaning of it.
The choice is yours and you'll regret and enjoy both.
Lyrics people are considered much more, well, soft-hearted.
People aren't always like that.
I remember myself being a music person.
But then life happened.
I never expected myself to be a lyrics person, but by the end of it, I myself didn't knew how it happened.
I don't exactly know why I gave that away.
You know people don't always go ny the lyrics.
I didn't.
But when you actually have had pain, gone through some pretty bad stuff, you actually start hearing the lyrics.

I've noticed that only people who have gone through pain and actually know what being a broken-hearted feels like go by the lyrics.
It's because they, out of all, understand that life is not just about happiness and enjoyment.
At times, life is about pain.
And crying.
They know a song is not just about the music.
There's more to a song.
Sometimes, there is misery.
Sometimes, there is love.
And sometimes, there is life.

As much as I would love to be the music person, I was a few years earlier, I hate to admit that I actually am a lyrics person.
But at times, I wish if I could just forget the lyrics and just dance to the beat.
I wish I could think about Nothing but the beat.
I wish I'd care less about how much the lyrics suit my life.
I wish I was a music person.
Because that is how life's supposed to be.
Just enjoying the beat.
But as I said, the choice is yours.
And even though I am a lyrics person but at times, just for a while, I forget the so called problems I have and just dance along the beat caring less about what the lyrics mean.

Yes, I am a philosophical person and I think a little too much but sometimes, I actually like to be the crazy, wild, young, free and insane girl that I used to be.
Sometimes, I forget everything and simply be the carefree, un-complicated and crazy retard I was and I think, I still am. :)

You may have heard a song but you know it only when you know what it means.
Songs carry messages.
Messages of the heart.
That we fail to express.
Messages, we could never deliver.

Life is like a song.
So dance on it while it's still on.
It many end any second.
So while we're here.......

The Bitch Called Life.

Life is not at all fair.
It's a bitch we all face everyday.
This post is not about me.
It's to tell you all about a beloved friend.
A friend who is indeed falling short of luck.
A friend who could use all our wishes and respect.
A friend who has suffered a little too much for his age.
A friend who deserves so much more.
A friend with whom life's not playing  fair.
Life's a fucking bitch.
No matter how many time it'll bite you, it'll always go on.
Till now , I thought that life's not playing fair with me.
But after what happened to my friend, I doubt that.
God and believe is a joke to me now.
A joke I wouldn't like to laugh at.
I swear, I won't ever go to a temple again .
Even if I do, there's nothing in the world which can ever make me believe again.
I won't ever pray again.
God's too busy to listen.
The friend I have,
He just lost his mother who was suffering from tumor.
I had been praying for his mother over a month but nothing worked.
I can't possibly imagine what he's going through right now.
I feel so bad for him.
But if only it could help.
I'd do anything to bring his mother back.
I wish I could help him.
He's the most amazing guy I've ever met.
He's my carbon copy.
It's just that he's suffered more than I ever did.
He's just a 14 year old guy and he lost the woman he loved the most.
I guess he deserves some respect and our salutes.
Life's not at all fair to him and he deserves so much more. 
I wish the gods had listened.

After this, I actually doubt if there are any. You know the worst part?
He's just a 14 year old and actually has no hope.
That is not a good thing.
Hope and believe are the only things which can make your dreams true.
But, this guy has lost belief.
I hate god for it.
He's been seeing his mom just lying on a bed since 1 year.
I cruel year.
Her mom getting back to normal was the only thing that could get his hope back to him.
But, god took away the last chance.
He has to get his hope back.
He has to believe in things.
Otherwise he'll be depressed.
I don't know how, I will bring his hopes back
I will get him to believe.
Even though it's hard.
I will.
I can't see him depressed.
Or worse,
Hopeless.

I feel a little helpless now to be honest.
I can't talk to him.
I can't make sure if he's okay.
Hell, I know he's not okay.
I can't imagine what he's going through.
How he must be feeling.
How he must be facing the fact that he won't ever see his mom ever again.
I can't know anything.
All I can do is write about my helplessness on a stupid website.
I wish he comes back to life soon.
Cause I miss him already.

And God,
What you did was not good. You took away the one last hope left to bring a good guy to believe again. So I hope your happy.
You just proved once again that bad things always happen to the good people.
Don't ever expect me in your temples again.
Don't expect me to beg or pray to you for anything.
Either way, you won't listen.

I've learned there's only one god- Death and there's only one thing we say to him - Not today.

Rest In Peace Aunty.

Be what you want to be. Not what they wish to see.

So, the last week has been really hard on me.
And I've had a lot of time to introspect.
Well, I have a lot to talk about now.

You all know how much I hate when people judge me.
I've  talked about all that in the judging personalities post.
Well, people judge all the time.
But you shouldn't let that change a bit of you if it's not for the good.
You are different and you have to accept that.
You should try to become a better person whenever you can.
But, that doesn't means losing your identity.
Never lose yourself.
This world is a cruel place to live in.
But you should never let anyone affect your life.
People will get close to you and there's no way to stop it.
At least there's no way that I know of.
If you're a teenager, pay attention.
They'll think what the want to think.
They'll hear what they want to hear.
They'll see what they wish to see.
So no matter what you do, they'll dislike you if they want to and like you if they wish to.
That's the way this world works.
So you don't think too much.
You just do what you want to do and follow you're heart.
Only it can tell you what you want.
Life's too short and people are many.
You can never keep all of them happy 
So, why not just keep yourself happy?

All your life, you'll try to impress them and all they'll ever do is take you for granted and expect more than what there is to you.
Even if you make them happy, you won't be till you actually keep yourself satisfied.

Just remember, no one will ever promise you forever expect yourself.
There's only one person who will be there for you always , and that is you.

So learn to keep yourself happy.
Because, if you love life, life will love you back.

Escape To Paradise

Paradise.

That is where I want to go. 

That is where I want to be.

That is where I belong.

Under the moonlight,

Sitting on a white horse,

Behind my prince charming,

In the yellow woods filled with light.

That's paradise.

Where everything is just as I want it to be - good.

Where there is no stress.

Where I won't be tensed about my coming up result. 

Where my parents don't worry about me being out of the house after 8.

Where I don't have to worry if someone sees me with my prince.

Where there is no peer pressure.

Where there is no shitty problems I have to deal with.

That's where I want to go. 

In my dream land.

♥PARADISE♥

Where things are different.

I want a new life.

I want to start over.

I want to be in a place where there is peace. 

Where there are no limitations.

No regrets, Just love.

I want to go somewhere no one else can see.

There will be just us and him and me. 

I want to go. 

To a place where there is no one. 

No one to tell me what to do.

No one to tell me what's right and what's wrong.

In fact, where there is no right and wrong. 

I just don't want to live my shitty life anymore.

I know there's something more to me and I just have to find it.

But in this world we live, I guess it's just impossible to be who you are.

"One of the greatest mental freedom is truly not caring what anyone thinks of you"

-Some guy. 

Bless this guy. 

What he wrote is so true. 

This is the bitter-sour truth of our own world.

We all care about what others think.

That's the reason the world is in chaos.

We all think.

Biggest blunder we all make.

We've got just one life to live.

One heart to give.

One chance to love.

Only one.

So instead of thinking and wasting time , go and fucking do what you want.

I just want to go and escape from this world of limitations.
Where there is magic.

I want to go where there is no regrets, just love.

Where there is nothing but magic.

Where there is love.

Where I can live my life, the way I want to live it.

Where I can fly.

Where Happy Endings Still Exist.

You might think I want to run away. 

But no , I am not a coward.

I just want to escape.

Because that is what takes to survive.

Oh , I wish I could fly.

Fly to paradise.

♥MY PARADISE♥

Just You And Me. Forever Please?